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- March 7, 2016 at 11:29 pm#38771AnonymousInactive
Hello everyone… it’s me, Paulos… former chat host etc… I have 25 days sober… uh… man the past days that I was messed up really made me think about the past 6 years how it has passed so quickly. :react
I still cannot believe I am 24 years old, almost 24 years old and a half and well… and well… not only has not much really been accomplished for myself, I always feel like I’m regressing in my life skills and so on. This is a melody/song you may have heard from me before, definitely in different lyrical content *ha ha* but in reality I sometimes tend to dwell on it more than others.
I just wish I was 18 or 19 again, it’s like I’m talking as if my age was terrible, while in reality I’m still 24 I feel like I’m too dumb for it… or something, it’s bad enough being autistic and all I just HATE THAT MY MEMORIES OF THE PAST FEW YEARS HAVE BEEN OF BINGING ON ALCOHOL OR THE OCCASIONAL OPIATES, oh it is very disappointing…
I am just glad to be back here… I don’t know what to really say it’s just I feel overloaded and I can’t get it out, and it’s like I look back at something I did in early 2008 and I remember it but I want to remember EXACTLY how I did it, why I did it and … so on… and since it’s been a long time ago I kind of freak to myself that I’m retarded since I cannot remember it. :react
Well… just thought I should post this. I have so many regrets right now :c021: just about myself, it’s like even if I stay sober another year, I’m still useless in society it feels like… wow I’m so … lost, compared to a year ago or so … ugh.
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