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    It appears that it will be another night of this, last night was the same thing. I’m getting these huge cravings to drink, trying not to think about it, but my mind is romanticizing the thought. Pouring the drink, feeling the burn, repeating the process. I even went so far as to thinking about what I would drink.

    I tell myself just a couple of shots, it won’t be a big deal, just get a slight buzz and let it go. But in reality it would be okay now, but I would like it so much that I would try it another night, then another night, and eventually I would be back where I was. I’m happy with all the progress that has been made, but it would be nice, just to be a little buzzed.

    I’ve been going to my meetings, talking to my sponsor, being honest with myself, but sometimes I guess that isn’t enough.

    Part of the problem is my life is normally pretty structured. I have a pretty solid schedule of running, going to the gym, working, studying for grad school, which keeps me pretty busy. Well I’m off from work and school for 2 weeks, so my structured life just became very unstructured.

    Next week will be four months, if I don’t give in……

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