Well, I am back again. I feel sort of selfish for popping in some time back after years of absence, and then disappearing again.
But I told myself I wouldn’t post anything again until I was sober for a month.

So, here I am, more than a month sober. Longest time I can remember in 8 years.

Obviously, this is a good thing!

Here’s what happened:
Went into my new job incredibly hungover, left at lunch time, and didn’t come back until the next day. Had a major meltdown. Also, I had told myself that — more than anything else — I wanted to have sober time under my belt by my next birthday (which is next month). Otherwise, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to stick around on this earth if I couldn’t achieve that.

I went to stay with some long-time sober friends for several days after the meltdown. That is how I survived the first few days; and I went back to my job (with no repercussions).
Went to a few AA meetings, but I’m not technically in that, or any other, recovery program. But I don’t feel that I’m in danger of a relapse.
I feel good about myself, but oftentimes I still feel like a drunk. Sometimes I think I still look like one too. As in the past, insomnia is a major problem.

I’ve changed a lot of familiar habits and improved my diet, and that has helped. Also, therapy, and talking with friends and family. Also, I think I really just hit a personal bottom, and I’ve been using every ounce of determination to stay sober. Although, I do think alcoholism is a disease that cannot be solved by will power; I think the outside support has largely contributed to my success.

-wren