- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
- July 21, 2016 at 1:22 pm#39819AnonymousInactive
I have been struggling to stay sober for the past 2 1/2 years. I’ll get a month, two, three or even four, then get a bottle and spend the day with it. A month ago I realized that I really really needed to get sober, to have the healthy, full life that I envision. And deserve! But so many times I found myself thinking, “what’s the point? I can’t pay my bills, have no job prospects, and can barely afford to put food on the table.” God gave me a generous gift last week: I applied to three jobs around Colorado (the state in which I live) last Monday, and all three of them have called for interviews. I had one, really liked the man who would be my boss, liked the town and area, and yesterday he offered me the job!
Here is the (umpteenth) “fresh start” that I really need. A job in a new town, and a job that I am passionate about. I have checked out AA meetings in the area, and there are 2 each day. Here’s what I am scared of: it’s a SMALL town, and my job will be as a Deputy District Attorney. I am afraid of people “outing” me, or encountering people in the rooms who are required to attend by probation officers and who will recognize me as one of the people “responsible” for their situation. (There are only 4 Deputy DAs in this town where I’m headed). This same thing happened to me here in the town where I currently reside a little over a year ago: I relocated, started my job as a Deputy DA, attended a few meetings each week, then one night saw a guy that I had sentenced that day on a DUI. I freaked out and didn’t go back. Add to that the fact that I stopped taking my antidepressants, and well, I’ve spent a year in and out of the rooms, having panic attacks, episodes of depression, and left that job that I loved for no really good reason and have since been struggling to earn enough to pay for food.
Is it a bad idea for a prosecutor in a small town to be involved in AA meetings? Should I stick with fellowship at church and online forums like 12 Step National Meetings? Any and all advice is welcome…I have a fresh start ahead of me, and really want to turn my health and life around and be the best me I can be.
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