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    Anonymous
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    Helly 12 Step National Meetings Forum my name is Steven and I am an Alcoholic and Drug addict.I will share of my past addictions.

    In march of 2007 me and my wife were in a near fatal automobile accident.I fell asleep a 1/2 mile from my home after leaving a bar.Me and my wife were thrown from the truck that rolled over roughly 5 times.The truck had a large welding machine with a tool box full of welders tools ect.All of these things completely came out of the bed of the truck while the truck was rolling over.

    We should have died in this wreck.The truck landed about a foot from a natural gas meter.I was thrown from the drivers side window about 50 foot one way and my wife was thrown out the passenger side window about 50 foot the other way.

    All of my ribs were broken and I was bumbed up pretty good and my wifes neck was hurt as her back and she was also bumbedup pretty good.We both were air lifted to a trauma center where we were treated and released the next day.

    This was in march of 2007.My sister is in pain management and she started giving me a 10mg percocet every-time I visited and it was not long before I was seeking out a pain doctor.I found one that gave me a 30 day supply of 10mg lortab which I ended up being out of withing two weeks and was after my sister to supply me until I was buying them off the street from an old friend of mine.

    My doctor sent me for MRI`s and found that I had real pain issues and wrote me a script for 90 10mg lortabs.Was I excited but still I ran out before the month was up and my next doctors visit in march of 2008 she cut me off with one last scrip for 60 10mg liortabs saying she was not a pain doctor and the DEA was cracking down on her practice for writing to much pain medicine to her patients.

    I was furious.I said you mean to tell me for 5 months you wrote me 30 10mg lortabs for my back and neck pain and after my MRI you increased me to 90 10mg of lortab and now you cut me off?

    I said you get me dependent on more medicine and cut me off?I was one really angry man.I told her if I went to detox and rehab that I would sue her for the bill like that would really change her mind.

    Shortly after that I found out that there was a real pain management doctor in my area.I got in and he started me on morphine,which I am highly allergic to.He then put me on 20mg every twelve hours of Extended release Oxycontin.I got me a pill cutter and divided the 20mg pills into 4 pieces.

    This was 7 months ago.I had found myself taking these little pieces of oxycontin/codone generic every couple of hours until my life was centered on nothing but watching the clock so I could pop these tiny pieces for the euphoria.

    I have been diagnosed as being bipolar 2 which my mind stays in the manic phase and the oxy clearly induces mania.I take no medicine for the bipolar mania.

    A few years ago I was on paxil the anti-depressant 20mg twice daily that induced the mania and caused me to gain 75 pounds withing a year and I weigh normally about 160 pounds.I finally weaned myself off from the paxil that kills emotions and robs life after about 3 months of withdrawal horror.

    Then after the paxil experience I was put on klonopin 0.5 mg twice daily for about 2 years for panic attacks.I also went through a battle getting off thesebut did wean off them to over about a 6 month period.

    I started about 3 weeks ago weaning off the oxycodone and today I will only take 5mg three times a day for about 4 days and then will drop down to the 5mg twice a day for about 4 days until I completely wean off.

    The hardest thing in my life I have ever had a battle with is alcohol and that was a 25 year battle with many failures and troubles.Last Friday me and my wife were in walmart and I was in the book section and had a feeling come over me that actually felt as if I were going insane.I think the oxy was coming off my brain receptors to quick since opiates bind to them and causes withdrawal when they are deprived of what they get use to.

    Then Sunday this same feeling came again as me and my wife were in church hearing the preacher.I actually thought I would have to get up and leave because of the wicked feeling of insanity that I experienced.

    I think that oxy use in the long run can mess with a persons mind as they never thought.I never told the pain doctor of my past alcohol problems and would not be where I am today If I had.

    What got me into researching this drug is when I was watching dog the bounty hunter tell a fugitive that the oxycontin he was on was frying hisbrain like an egg and if he kept on to plan on a mental institution for good because he would go insane for good.That my friends scared me to death because if your mind goes so does your life.I had a very small taste of the delusional thinking this drug from hell can cause and it is not peaceful feelings.

    If your on it get off at any cost because I see my sister and brother in law going permanantely insane living the oxy life and they take up to 200mg a day each among the other pills they get from doctors who just dont care.

    Thank you for letting me share.

    Steven.

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