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- April 2, 2015 at 6:58 pm#36153AnonymousInactive
I don’t know if I’m putting this in the right place or not but I need to vent about my spouse. We have been married for almost 11 years. It has been a rough relationship, but we do love each other.
I was doing really well today until I talked to him earlier. He is a truck driver so sometimes he’s gone for long periods of time. Well, I was really hoping that he was going to be out for a long trip this time until I get past my 5 day mark and my body is adjusted to not having it’s every other day beer/wine fix. Today is the day that I would be drinking so it’s been a tough day for me. Like I said, I was doing well until I find out that he might be coming home tomorrow. Since then, I have had the worst desire to have a drink. I don’t have any alcohol here, thank God, and I think I’m strong enough to get past this. But, once he comes home, I am worried he’s going to want to get something to drink.
I don’t know if he realizes just how much I really want to quit, and just how hard it is for me to do that. He feels that all I have to do is just not drink it and that it’s ok for him to drink around me. NOT!!!! This is not my first attempt at not drinking, it’s more like my fifth or sixth. Now, I have to take responsibility here for my own actions. I am the one who put the bottle to my mouth when he brought the beer home. But, I am angry with him that he’s not being more supportive of this. It’s like he doesn’t get why I cannot drink. Makes sense though. It must be hard for the person that can sip a beer to understand why a person who chugs their beer can’t just “not drink” if it’s there. Oh, I don’t know if I’m making sense here as my mind is a little racy today.
Going to get out of the house and go for a walk. Hope it will help the anxiety a little.
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