Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse My Story, Would Love Some Wisdom Shared

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    I have read so many of your posts. You all seem so caring and knowledgable about this stuff. I would love to see if we could all chat one day. I’m in dire need of some online sponsors. Here’s my story…

    I’m a 30 year old, ER RN, who hurt her back at work, helping recessitate a large man in his car to the stretcher. I have a herniated disk between l4-l5 that pushes on a spinal nerve, makes my right leg hurt, burn and tingle all day/nite.

    I was told that it wasn’t bad enough for surgery but, that it does need epidurals, physical therapy and pain managment. I went to one pain dr for almost 2 years now. My pain toward the end of our relationship was so bad that I was constantly having to increase my meds. Sometimes he didnt listen to me so, I found another doctor who would listen to my needs (which was more meds)

    I wound up seeing 2 pain drs (and ERs) to get enough oxy (300-600mg/day) to make me functional during the day. At a hospital admission, my pain doc found out about the other pain doc and then all at once, I’m reported to the DEA. Not only do I have to deal with the pain, now I have legal issues to take care of, while I’m going through full blown withdrawals.

    I’m trying to keep it short. I’m on day 16, no oxys !!! I had suboxone for the 1st 10 days, then on day 14 I got a sympathy rx for lortab (25ct). What a fkin loser I am, to ruin 16 days of sobriety with vicoden vs. my roxi 30’s. I relapsed big time. I’m being so hard on myself too.

    My husband is in the US Air Force. He was devastated to hear about my addiction. He instantly walled of emotionally to me and asked me for a divorce the day he had to come bond me out of jail. I dont blame him but, I’m still a good person. Don’t I deserve to be loved too? I have been there for him when it was tough, I pray he stays here for me…

    Need all the advice in the world. You wont hurt my feelings believe me, Im my worst critic. I spend most of my days pacing the floors, looking in mirrors and crying. I have 2 kids who will be here at summers end (they see their dad for the summer, I have them during school year).

    I pray that you all can advise me. I have a family to keep together and I’m doing my best getting off of the oxy !!! Its the toughest thing Ive ever done. I love you guys for reading and replying. Thank you!

    The Hyper1

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