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- October 2, 2015 at 1:57 pm#37562AnonymousInactive
Hey everyone. Well, things here at home are steadily getting worse. My marriage is showing no signs of improvement. I’m trying so hard to be patient with my husband and his abuse of weed, but it just seems to be getting worse. His attitude, his anger is worse. I asked him last night…”Aren’t you sick of everything you do revolving around this drug?” His response was, ” yeah, there’s just no good sh!t around anymore”….Then he went and got a bag.
Well, my unhappiness has led me to thinking about using. I had that thought the other night after we had been arguing all day. My ‘brain’ said “[email protected] it! Nothing else around me has changed…why not”. No worries…I didn’t use.
Here’s the thing….This way of thinking is so screwed up and I realize that everytime I do have those thoughts, it’s when things are bad at home or I’m upset over something. I’ve ran for so long from situations like these…just to escape and not feel….to numb myself from reality.
I’m realizing that I’ve been unhappy with my marriage for a long time, and my unhappiness has led me to drugs and that numb feeling…that’s how I’ve coped.
Well, nowadays, that’s no longer an option for me and I’m ‘feeling’ everything, every emotion without the fog that I was once in due to the drugs.
It’s opening my eyes more and more.
How can I stop this way of thinking? The need I feel to run away?
Thanks for letting me share.
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