Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse Need Advice.. thought you guys may help

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  • #27693
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have been searching the internet for websites about heroin addiction , and they all are pretty much the same. I know about the physical effects ect, but what about the mental and emotional effects?
    I hope that it is okay I am posting on this forum, but I need some type of response.
    The reason I ask, is because my ex boyfreind, with who dated fro many years was and IV heroin addict. I did not know in the beginning. ( i was 25 and did not know about heroin ) about 8 months into the relationship, I found out. He got arrested and the cop told me they found needles on him.. My life came crashing dowm,,, I tried to stick by him and help him.. but I realized there was nothing I could do… or his family. I hate to let him go… and I did. I still loved him very much , but it was effecting my life , I was afraid…
    Well anyway.. he found someone new , who he lives with . I had no contact with him for over a year .. I knew he was still using because the crazy girlfriend would constantly call me. Well anyway.. he was arrested again and while he was in jail he started to write me apology letters ,,, and that he stayed away because he was using and didn’t want to to see it.. ect. ( the whole time we were together he never asked for me to do anything for him that involed drugs buy, drive ect)
    Once he got out , he continued to live with her, but started to come to my house and want to try and start our relationship again. I fell for it !!! He said he never loved her .. and she was just easy for him cause he can use freely around her , she accepted the drugs m, gave him money… but this is not what he wanted .. well to make a long story short… he started to use again and moved back in with her. I told him I would stick by him and help him.. and he doesn’t have to hide it from me.. well .. I haven’t heard from him in over a month and neither has his family.. she tells the family he is in rehab!! NOT TRUE .. I saw him 3 days ago…………..what is going on with him? last time we spoke he said he was on a meth program????
    Can you guys give me some feedback
    Thank you 🙂

    #106716
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi, I’m a recovering addict and I also post here at the Nar-Anon forums. My mother is the addict in my life, and it was so important for me to learn that when it comes to her addiction: I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. I get a lot of help at the Nar-Anon forums here.

    You may want to come down to the Nar-Anon forums. There are some great posts at the top that address your questions. Nar-Anon is for family members (includes bf/gf) of an addict.
    [url]http://www.https://12stepnationalmeetings.com/forums/nar-anon/%5B/url%5D

    #106717
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Trying to fix somebody who doesn’t want to be fixed is an addiction of it’s own. We mean well when we do it, but a lot of time there’s a hidden agenda. I hung out with addicts with major additude problems because I was scared of being alone, and I could con myself into thinking I wasn’t as bad as they were.

    Learning to have relationships with people who are capable of having relationships is a piece of work.

    #106720
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I know… I was just wondering, when someone was in active addiction, what is their minds like? do they just disappear … are they thinking somewhat clearly? I know I am not an addict , so its hard for me to understand…

    #106712
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    heroin is my doc. i would say that my mind was not “gone”, i was myself, and i still felt and thought things–but not as much. there is no person alive who could comfort me the way heroin could. its hard to compete with. i abandoned all my family and friends for it. not because i didn’t love them. i did and do, and the pain of elaving them and feeling like such a looser was one more thing to drown with the drug. he may not be lying when he says he would rather have you than the drug and this other girl. but he may not be willing or able to act on that desire. desire i’ve learned is very far away from intention.

    take care of yourself first. you don’t have to be cruel to this guy, but he’s also not going to do anything good for you while he’s using. while that is true you will always always be second. not because he wants it that way but because thats how it is.

    #106718
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Apple, Welcome to 12 Step National Meetings,
    Heroin was also my drug of choice.!

    He sounds abit of a mess.! I understand your feelings for this man but as you have said he’s useing IV, that is a great risk to you if your with him, if you understand…!

    Go to the ‘familys n friends n Narc anon, lower down there are so many others who will be able to give you a better veiw, on your situation…!

    Im Glad you Found US as this place Helps so many, thro so much…!:grinattk: X

    I hope ALL works out well for you…X

    #106714
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey Apple, Glad to meet you. It’s wonderful you’re learning about the disease of addiction but, if you’re really serious about this guy, I think you should go to Nar anon meetings as well.

    I’m an addict and alcoholic in recovery. I’ve lied, cheated and stole for my next high and I don’t think I was different than any other addict (including your boyfriend) chasing a high. I’ve got no idea what your guy is up to but he’s probably up to no good.

    Also, have you had an AIDS test? I hope you will because it goes with the territory of IV drug users. Please take care of yourself.

    #106721
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Just want to thank all of you for giving me some great advise…. I know that drugs will always come first , but like I said its hard for someone who is not an addict to understand.
    This is a great website…. I have read many post in the Nar-Anon forum, but I wanted to hear what it was like to be an addict, what goes through your minds when you are in active addiction…
    You are all such great people.. and i wish all of you the best..
    That is what is so heartbreaking.. every addict I know is not some crazy monster… they are all good people and the most giving and caring..:)

    PS… can an addict live with someone who they say they don’t care about?
    I just know that I need to focus on me right now.. and I do.. I just get worried and upset to know that he hasn’t contacted me in over a month.. and is lying to his family that he is in rehab… it doesn’t sound too good to me…:(
    Again thank you all !!!

    #106713
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “can an addict live with someone who they say they don’t care about?”

    lol. i used to live with 3 guys who treated me like total crap. at leats once a day i wished they would all die. yeah i would say an addict would do pretty much anything.

    #106722
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks Magda,,, like I said before.. what is going on inside their heads when they are using?? I guess in my mind it seems as though he likes staying there… under her control..
    but why isolate yourself from your family? and tell everyone your in rehab? what is that all about? are you supposed to come out of the woodwork recovered???
    I just don’t get it

    #106715
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Apple, please check out the sticky: ‘What addicts do’ on the Nar-Anon page. It says it all.

    #106723
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi… I read that post .. and it was great. I guess I just don’t get it ,,, cause its not like he is an not functioning.. he hangs out eats, plays on the computer ect… it almost seems as though he idn’t a drug addict , but he is… and even though he an IV heroin addict ,, he is always worrying about his looks.. he gets his haircut once a week, showers everyday, make sure he puts cream on his track marks … does anyone else do this? do you find that odd?

    #106719
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Apple – there are many addicts who function well for a while
    But eventually it is Jails Institutions or Death

    You need to stop obsessing on what an addict is all about – Lies, lies, lies..you are not talking to the person you knew..You are talking to the drug and you will NEVER figure it out….I understand that you are hoping that things will get better if only you can figure it out…But trust me – YOU WON”T !!!!!!
    Please focus on the Naranon Forum and you will learn from the other family members and girlfriends of addicts what they went thru, what they are going thru – what their addicts did etc…
    You will learn MUCH MORE there…

    :Val004: jj

    #106724
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have been reading the posts on the Naranon website… and they were very helpful. but they only knew what I knew.. and went through. I am sorry that I posted on this forum, I just wanted to talk to some of the people who went through their own addictions. Everybody has been very helpful in trying to help me understand…
    I don’t want to change him… just try to be more understanding…

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