Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse Needing it to live up to expectations

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    I’m mostly a Ritalin addict and I would go through cycles of using meth and then using the Ritalin to get off the meth. I’ve been prescribed Ritalin since I was 6. But I started abusing it when I realized that the more I used the better my grades were. And in addition to getting the straight A’s I was able to go out and party all the time. Long story short because of the stimulants I was able to be everything everyone wanted me to be. But as the story goes. Things got so bad that I was just tweaking all the time and unable to function at that level. So I know in my head this is bull.

    I’m a horrible perfectionist, bordering on obsessive. I get straight A’s and in my head a B or even an A minus is failing. Then I’m pre-med. So it is a lot of pressure. But it’s been my dream since I was a little kid. And being extra competitive and an over achiever is part of the territory. I had about a week and a half sober and things were going really well. Then I had a test and I’m already behind this semester because things were so bad with the addiction. But I could not study like I used to. The focus and energy just was not there. I was convinced I was going to fail. So I caved and used. I’m trying again. But I’m scared that I can’t be everything I need to be without the drugs. I can’t keep up my grades and I’m going to let everyone down.

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