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    Well, I went to treatment and for the most part got off the booze and the pain meds, they have me on a program where I take subutex and I am also on adderall.

    Now I am abusing those too. I am tired of this roller coaster and tired of not feeling comfortable and lying.

    I feel exausted and weak. I am picking at my legs and have sores all over. I am afraid of myself.

    I don’t want to do treatment again. I just got out. I hate being locked up.

    I hate drugs. I hate this life.

    God give me the strength to hang it up. Give up. End the war.
    I want to come home.


    Thanks for everyone here. At least you all don’t judge me. Thank you.

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