- This topic has 6 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 5 months ago by Anonymous.
- August 20, 2012 at 1:59 am#27711AnonymousInactive
I am so appreciative to have found this support network on 12 Step National Meetings.
I am a 21 year old addict, addicted to cocaine, and have recently starting using crack.
I used to be into modelling and acting, was in school and had a bright future.
These past 2 years I tried drugs, and fell in love with the lifestyle..
Well now its not just a lifestyle but an addiction..
I do and crave drugs all the time, and when I am on them, I just want more more more.
Its so disgusting and I am ashamed.
I have gone to a CA meeting, and have a drug councellor..
I only lasted in treatment for a day as I got scared and left…I then relapsed a while later..
Part of me says to just give up my struggle, as my depression is also getting worse due to my drug use.
The other half, sees a dim future for me at the end of my road to recorvery, where I will re-enroll back in school,start and actually keep a job, and be healthly!
I have very few friends/support so am looking for any kind of support out there.
I hope to talk with someone soon:)
JessAugust 20, 2012 at 2:41 am#106973AnonymousInactive
You have made a good decision to seek sobriety, Jess. I’m glad that you are here reaching out.
I’m also a cocaine addict and I know from experience that it does get worse. The hole gets deeper and deeper each time and the monster grows bigger.
Seeking support is really important.. you are taking a great first step by joining 12 Step National Meetings. Also, the support at meetings is great. Get phone numbers of people you can call.
Make sure you avoid people, places, and things that you associate with using or that could trigger you.
You are not alone and let us know how you are doing. We care! :hug:August 20, 2012 at 3:29 am#106971AnonymousInactive
Welcome to the forum Jess.
The good news is you recognize you have a problem and need to do something about it.
Recovery is not going to be an easy process . We have to do things sometimes which we really don’t want to do for the sake of recovery but compared to the suffering that drugs still has in store for you going to therapy and some CA meetings is nothing compared to that pain.
Our addiction does not only KILL us Jess….first we suffer, then our friends family and loved ones suffer….THEN we die…….after that our friends . families and loved ones are left to suffer some more…..all that misery isn’t worth sucking a few mgs of white powder up my left nose hole….August 20, 2012 at 7:53 am#106974AnonymousInactive
Morning Jess, Im pleased that your seeing that you now have a problem that you need to deal with, as Pete said, its great you can see it for what it really is.
Congrats on seeking help…! :Val004:
Im an addict/alcholic, but im also many other things too. lol
Like a pain in the bum…!
I enjoyed the old life for awhile too. But it does change does’nt it.
I wish you well on your fight to stay Clean…!August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm#106972AnonymousInactive
Welcome to 12 Step National Meetings. I am glad you have posted. For me, that was the big first step to dealing with my addiction, realizing through the posts of others where my addiction will take me.August 20, 2012 at 4:31 pm#106976AnonymousInactive
Thank you so much everyone for the wonderful supportive replies:)
I guess I will try keeping myself occupied for now….
Its hard with no job right now, as I found it impossible to keep one when using…
So i decided to take a break…but with so much more time on my hands its tempting to fall back into that horrible pattern!
Anyways, I hope everyone is having a great morning, and will talk to you all very soon.
JessAugust 20, 2012 at 10:50 pm#106975AnonymousInactive
Welcome to the boards. I am glad that you have found us…
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