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    Today I’ve felt really depressed and well… just sad. I’m missing out on a big get-together due to the high prices of airfare… and the thought of my best friend touching down around noon and having her first perfect margarita around dinnertime really laid me low. I’m not normally the “woe is me” kind of person, but it struck me hard.

    Husband asked what was up and I told him. Told him I hated that I did this to myself and I can’t have just one glass of wine or one or 3 drinks. I cried a little while he hugged me, and we left for dinner.

    I have to add there are other factors as well… tremendous stress due to money, career (which involves both of us), and the whole 9 yards. I feel like I singlehandedly moved us into this home and did everything, all while doing the normal household laundry, dishes, etc.

    I miss the escape from ME that alcohol gave me. In one sense, I’ve been stuck with me for the better part of 2 and a half years (several relapses make this not a continuous stretch)… and I just wish I could sometimes.

    Sorry for the “poor me” tone… I’m not going to drink today (tonight). And I’m thankful for every single moment of sobriety I’ve been granted 24 hours at a time. Things just came to a head today and it helps to come here.

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