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  • #27668
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Just wanted to say hi. I’m a 31yo Male that has been drinking fairly heavily for the past 10 years or so, with periods of abstinence (up to a year or so at some points) during that time.

    Beer is my drink.

    I used to be able to turn it off like a lightswitch. Last summer, I went on a diet challenge with a friend and stopped drink for 3 months completely so I would win (which I did). I felt great, but a few months later I was back to drinking – at first only a few beers, but have now ramped myself back up to anywhere from 8-15 beers per night. It’s getting harder to “turn it off”, or to get motivated to do so.

    I’m not sure I’m really depressed, I think I am just bored. At least that’s how it started out, but now it’s becoming a necessity. I’m not all that spiritual, so I don’t think that AA is for me, and I really don’t have time to devote to meetings due to family commitments. Also, I look at it as “I got myself into this mess, I need to get myself out”. I bought a book the other day after doing some online research, “Sober for Good”. So far it’s a good read, and I need to read that people can do it on their own. My wife saw the book on my desk and started crying. It’s not like she doesn’t know I have a problem, maybe it was the realization that I was admitting it and trying to do something about it. I don’t know, she doesn’t want to talk about it. As with everything else in our marriage, if it’s important to me I’ll have to do it myself.

    I work from home, so it’s way too easy for me to sleep in later than I should, or go back to bed after trying to function for the first hour or so.

    And, in the interest of full disclosure and thruthfullness, I also work in the beer industry. I am surrounded by beer, beer functions, meetings with beer, and 4 free cases of beer every month to drink at home. It’s a dangerous job for someone in my state. But, I have a really good job – and it pays extremely well. I’m not in a position to make any changes on that front, so I would appreciate not being told to quit my job (thanks in advance). I just need to learn to balance my work & my not drinking.

    I am already a little shaky this afternoon (maybe a slight hangover from yesterday), but I think I need to resist the urge to “drink away the shakes”. I took a Tylenol w/ Codeiene an hour a go and that seems to be knocking the edge off for now.

    Cheers, thanks for reading, and wish me luck.

    .dhf.

    #106401
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey Downhill – welcome, welcome, welcome!:dancer5:

    I know it’s really hard, I’m only on day 3 of sobriety and it’s challenging. They say the hardest thing though is admitting you have a problem, and you’ve done that! Congrats!
    I decided I didn’t like how my life was turning out, sounds like you’ve done the same. I’m sorry if your wife is not supportive, but what about other friends or family, can you talk with them? This website is really helpful – people update here all the time, and it really helps me. It sounds like you’ve found a great book also!

    As for your job, if you have a good job that pays well you shouldn’t have to quit, plus the fact that you HAVE a job is great! I’m unemployed right now because I was to hungover in the mornings to bother to get up and go to work!

    So best of luck to you, come here often because it helps!

    Stay Strong!

    FallGirl

    #106390
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Welcome to 12 Step National Meetings, DHF. I’m struggling too, in my first few weeks (again), so I can totally relate. And I cook at a tavern, and am an avid karaoke singer, so avoiding being around beer is impossible. I’m not spiritual either, but occasionally go to AA/NA to be around other recovering people. You might check out our [URL=”http://www.https://12stepnationalmeetings.com/forums/secular-connections/”%5DSecular Connections[/URL] forum for ideas and programs outside of 12-Step recovery. You can get through today, I’m routing for ya! 🙂

    #106389
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Welcome. I think some people may be able to get sober on their own, but I couldn’t. AA worked for me – I would encourage you to give it a try. Saying you don’t have the time to go worries me a bit though. If I can stop you can too. Are you really ready?? Hope you stick around
    JMHS

    #106403
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    jmhs002 wrote:
    Saying you don’t have the time to go worries me a bit though. If I can stop you can too. Are you really ready??

    OK, maybe I could find the time, but I don’t need or want the religious overtones. I’m a little more “black & white” than that.

    And yes, I am ready (I think):loser:

    #106400
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    If you are ready, you are ready!. And you have to do it for you! These are important first steps and way to go on coming to that decision.

    You are doing the right things. You are reaching out to other people. Maybe AA isn’t for you. (I’ve gone to several and they haven’t been that religious at all except saying the Lord’s prayer in two of the groups–but you can always duck out before that if it feels uncomfortable.) It was just soooo good to actually talk openly and honestly about my drinking with others that knew where I was coming from (and with no ego or agenda like a spouse might have).

    But this board has really been helpful too. There is a lot of wisdom and many with years of sobriety here. Keep coming back!

    #106387
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It’s great to see a new member…Welcome to 12 Step National Meetings!.:c031:

    I too stopped drinking because of the information from
    a book..”Under The Influence”

    I use other books to stay in sobriety..mainly
    “Alcoholics Anonymous” the AA publication.

    If you look at the top sticky post here..
    you will find a thread on alternative recovery programs.

    [url]http://www.https://12stepnationalmeetings.com/forums/alcoholism/76726-links-aa-alternatives-info.html%5B/url%5D

    Glad to see you are searching for a better sober way of life…:banana:

    #106402
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    someone sent me a link to something called “lifering” I think it’s kind of like AA but with the religious aspect. Does anyone have that link? I don’t know how to post a link :cool2:

    FallGirl

    #106394
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi downhill and welcome to 12 Step National Meetings!!! I don’t think that you have to be religious to go to an AA meeting, I think you just have to be an alcoholic, or have problems with alcohol. So you may like to try a meeting and see what you think, particularly if you want to meet other people who struggle with the same issues you do.

    But I did not give up drinking by doing AA. I did manage to quit by fully accepting that I could just not drink alcohol. I could not moderate my intake. It was affecting my life and my family negatively. I was not a bad person, but if I didn’t do anything to change the whole thing I would not have a happy future.

    Life IS much better now, I would not drink again ever (that is a big statement and something I really know I can’t guarantee – but that is truly how I feel). I really do not like alcohol, what it has done to me, what it has done to other people that I love and its whole effect on people in general.

    I am very happy not to drink!!!! AND I was around alcohol a fair bit when I first gave up drinking. If you recognise that drinking is not right for you, then I do think you can just make the decision to stop drinking regardless of outside influences.

    peace and love,
    Brigid 🙂

    #106391
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    #106398
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Downhill,

    Welcome, you’ve made a good decision and come to a good place. I too am trying this on my own. I haaaaate meetings and with two girls, a full time job and grad classes, the only time i have left I choose to run, skull or go to the gym. I’ll have 2 months August 11th (hey that’s tomorrow) expect for one day I drank 3 mikky’s of rasp vodka, my LOC.

    I have also been reading and doing on-line research, some people have told me need to change my lifestyle, I have adjusted slightly but my goal is to give up the alcohol, not my life…

    You need to carve and walk your own path, just be ready for those forks in the road.

    #106404
    Anonymous
    Inactive
    NYCGirl wrote:
    I have adjusted slightly but my goal is to give up the alcohol, not my life…

    Exactly how I feel about the whole thing! Thanks so much for your support.

    .dhf.

    #106388
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Lifestyle changes can be very simple things. Plan for the drinking times, have other activities to fill those times. Choose who you hang out with more carefully. Take up a hobby, possibly an old interest that has waned. I shopped differently, drove home the rural way instead of the freeway, went to the bookstore and magazine kiosk for reading material, went for a walk in the local park. Walked the dogs and spent time in the garden first thing when I got home, because that used to be my time to ‘unwind’ with a drink, so I found another way to unwind.

    You don’t necessarily need to adopt a whole new lifestyle or make major changes. Just be aware of when you want(ed) to drink and plan accordingly. Then you can start to become aware of the things you drank for and start finding other ways of coping with those.

    #106396
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have to say that i can somewhow relate to your story… 30-years old, drinking mostly for the thrill, that little extra… It’s like alcohol makes me feel more intensely rooted in life.

    Have very flexible working hours myself, that I can easily combine with hang-over symptoms.

    For me it’s wine, however, not beer…

    I noticed that at least partially I can change my desire for alcohol in something else that gives me a thrill: running; having long sauna-sessions; watching series like ‘lost’ or ’24’… Everything that gives that extra adrenaline may help…

    And i learned to beware of euphory, because it gives me the falsh confidence that I can handle a couple of drinks.

    And reading or seeing what alcohol does in the long run, helps as well for me. I was in the supermarket this morning, before me in the queue, there was that 50-years old lady drunk and smelling like hell, saying most embarassing things to everyone around. Well, I don’t want to go down that way, and this thought keeps me alert…

    Not that it is easy. I’m trying already from the first of januari to stay sober. And I succeed everytime for a couple of days upt to maximum three weeks, and then I relapse. Today it is day 14 again…

    And, me too, I prefer to do it alone. For now. No religion. No AA.
    For now, at day 14, I feel I can add some days more…

    Baldrick

    #106397
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I use this site as my “group”. I do not attend a formal program, nor do I subscribe to a lot of the beliefs of many of the programs I have reviewed. However, I did experience them, and I did take what was useful to me and left the rest.

    It really is up to you whether or not you want sobriety. If you want it more than you want the alcohol, then you can choose it with or without a program. Whether or not your wife supports you, IMO, is irrelevant. While it is helpful, the support of loved ones is not required. You can do what ever you choose to do. You just can’t choose to do everything b/c that would leave nothing for the rest of us to do! 😉

    Peace, Levi

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