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- May 16, 2017 at 5:42 am#42862AnonymousInactive
Someone else talked about this being a major problem in a different thread and I thought that for many of us this can be one of the biggest demons we need to overcome. This was my biggest issue and I often wonder if it’s something you can end completely or is getting some degree of control over it the best we can hope for?
Life itself is really just a collection of memories and the longer you live the bigger your collection gets. What happens though when your collection gets too overloaded with bad memories? Our brains seem to have a file system that stores things in order of importance and most of our worst memories are of things that were of great importance to us.
You can try to block them out but that only makes them stronger, it never worked for me. You can try to come to some false form of justification for why these things happened but your brain will pick appart such attempts as quickly as you can come up with them.
Our memories seem to carry so much weight that they can actually affect our thought process and how we perceive the world around us. We can convince ourselves that things are going to end badly anyhow so why even try? For me it often seemed easier to hide out in a bottle, at least there was some comfort there.
Over time I discovered that this was a false comfort, it was the grand delusion. As soon as the alcohol wore off I discovered that the memories were still there. The alcohol withdrawal periods seemed to act like a spotlight shining only on just how screwed up my life was and demanded even more of the same to take the pain away.
I discovered that we can’t really block out the past but we can control the amount of importance that we give to those memories. Acceptance is the key that unlocks that door, we are all fallible beings, we all make mistakes and the best we can do is to try to learn from them. Many bad things will happen in our lives that we have no control over and again acceptance, although not always easy is all that we can do.
Learning to live in the present is also vitally important to escape the bonds of the past. You will reap rich rewards by learning to just be in the present but it takes daily effort. I’m still trying to figure it all out……. but aren’t we all in the same boat?
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