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    Hi guys just wanted to let you all know who I’ve chatted on here with and consider friends what is going on with me. I’ve gone through detox but went back to using shortly after. Stupid me. I’ve quit smoking crack and am now totally wired to amphetmines. It’s like the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning as I’m all depressed and my body is sore. I think I wish I had a hit of meth or dexies when I wake up. It’s horrible in a way. Crack is more expensive and I’d blow it all in one night. Amphetimines cause me horrible horrible daily cravings and my body is destroyed after use. I was also on ritilan for ten years as a child, so maybe have a predisposition. I don’t crave crack at all any more. I even enjoy the come-down phase of amphetimines where I feel like one crazy mothaf.

    I’ve decided that I can’t do it here on the Vancouver downtown eastside just like I couldn’t do it in the drug house I was living in in Victoria. I need to be away, far away from these people. I’ve applied to get into treatment centre with an after program supporitive living in Kelowna which is a holiday resort east of Vancouver. I’m going to be leaving Vancouver on the 31st of this month and I’m going to buy supplies and a laptop with my last paycheque. I’m going to camp out until I get into treatment. I’m going to try to stay as sober as possible and pick up temp labour work while I’m there waiting. It’s going to be quite an adventure. All the “I’m going to” sentences above is what I repeat in my head to keep the motivation going…I have to get out of the DTES or I’ll end up dead or insane. I went on a huge meth binge for five days a couple weeks ago which ended me in the psychiatric lockdown for four days (I thought snipers were gunning for me on rooftops) I’m also getting increasingly more irritable and agressive making me a candidate for dying a violent death if I freak out.

    Please send me your best wishes I’m going to need them. Thanks friends, you’re the only sober people I know that aren’t social workers or nurses.

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