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    I had my first panic attack today. I was rolling along fine and getting a lot done. Then a problem arose that was not in my power to fix. It is a financial result of where I am because of drinking. I am working on fixing it super hard. I was out on estimates all morning. I even took my daughter along on a few of them. Potentially, I was making great progress.

    I think it was just that high thinking of all the potential I was creating, and it all came crashing down. And it started to cycle in my head and my chest got tight.

    So I just went in my garage and sat down. This is only day three and the instinct came out of nowhere to “just have one beer” to relax. Man, it wasn’t so much the beer, it was I wanted to hide again.

    So I went outside for an hour and cut, split and stacked wood like a madman, broke a nice sweat, and thought about what I needed to do on Monday to start fixing my problems. What were my best solutions, and what were my worst. The worst was for me to drink, clear as day, simple as Simon, not even a question about it. I still felt like for tonight, I would feel better, but I had to look further down the road and that road gets ugly.

    Anyway, I didn’t reach for the first and doing fine now. Happy to have found an outlet for my early recovery.

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