here go again. It’s been 8 or 9 months since I drank. Most of the year I don’t drink. It always happens, something happens and I get a load of stress and I get a 1000 bricks on my chest.

Today, I know exactly when I was hit, I said something then it happened.

I ****** serious, my chest hurts. Then for about a month or 2 I start drinking right after work and from the time I get up on weekends until the time I go to be. And my life becomes unmanageable. Heck I even move out of my home. Then a between $1000 and $2000 later something happens and all of a sudden I my life is back in control.

btw, going to the gym and running does not help. Drinking until I can’t walk for a month seems to be what helps. I drink so much that I don’t the ability to be stressed.

I know they say problems don’t go away just because you drink. But that does not apply to %100 of the people. Because I know exactly what I am stressed about and please believe me when I say it’s stuff that is nothing. I mean nothing.

Seriously, the trigger this time is that I said something that might or might not be true. That’s all.

When I take that first drink the bricks are lifted and they do not comeback because I don’t stop drinking. Then one day all of a sudan and just like that I have control over my life again.