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- May 24, 2017 at 3:19 pm#42943
All Things Come In God’s Time?
I recently had a little over a year of clean time, I had a brief relapse and lost everything, and now I have 4 months clean again. I am living in a halfway house, I’ve been here for two months now…
I pray every morning that my Higher Power help me get through the day, that’s all I ever ask for – help getting through the day. Occasionally I ask my Higher Power to watch over my brother, who I haven’t spoken to in 4 months, but I never ask for anything for myself.
I thank my Higher Power every night.
I am on my fourth step, and I am basically in a state of panic, not because of my fourth step, but because I cannot find a job. Now, everyone in the program tells me that I’ll get a job “when I’m ready” or I’ll get a job “when I’m supposed to have one,” or that I’ll have a job “in God’s time.” I’m also constantly told that If I keep praying and doing the next right thing while having faith in my Higher Power that “things will work themselves out.”
Well, if things remain the way they are in the next two or three weeks I will be almost 5 months sober and I WILL BE HOMELESS. This is not being melodramatic, this is reality. I cannot even fathom working so diligently for almost 5 months and doing everything as well as I possibly can in my recovery only to be homeless in the end.
I have been on job search for a month now (house rules), and I have put out 25-30 job applications, I have only had 2 interviews and no other calls back. So this is not for a lack of effort that I don’t have a job. I’m college educated, have no rap sheet, and I can’t even get a job at McDonald’s. I don’t understand it.
Basically the house director told me that if I don’t find a job in the next two weeks he’s going to have to ask me to leave.
I’m starting to lose faith in my Higher Power. I pray and pray and pray and do the right things to the best of my ability and nothing is coming from it but stress and potentially sleeping on a park bench or under a bridge sober… I didn’t think there would be anything that could drive me to drink, but if this situation comes to fruition I don’t know if I could stop myself…
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