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    It wont post if I make the title any longer, sorry…

    How do you feel when you are sober? And I don’t mean “great, being sober is awesome” I don’t mean longer term, but those times when you wish you could just get high, or when you were actively using, how did you feel when you were sober? I feel bored, and I think maybe alone. I know it must be more then boredom that makes me want to abuse drugs. That is the main thing I feel though, bored. Drugs make my nights more interesting, til the nasty comedown. Generally I think I just feel bored and lonely a lot I think, I can’t quite figure out if I do feel alone or not. I just feel BLAHHH a lot, if you know what I mean. So it’s like, it’s hard not to do it when I know things could be more interesting and I feel like I am nicer and more interesting to my friends, even if its just over MSN, and more motivated to make plans, etc and stuff. I don’t know if this post makes sense but I am just trying to figure myself out right now but I am just wondering what other ppl’s answers to this are. For me, it’s not that I am trying to avoid reality or that I want to get high when I am stressed or something bad happens… I just feel blah and more ‘into’ the motions of life..even if its just on MSN and stuff… I dunno. I am outgoing and have many firends and we hang out and have fun without being high on ritalin. I’ve only done it usually with friends who do it too and we have great talks, otherwise I use it alone bc I get so irritable when I come down. Anyways, I hope this made sense…

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