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  • #39175
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    (not sure if I’m in the right forum or not, but here it goes)

    Hey all,

    It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Anyway, I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for the past six months until today. She broke it off with me, called me “pathetic”, disgusting, weak, etc. Just couldn’t understand why I’m an addict.

    Still ahven’t drank alcohol for over 18 months…but she has ADD and takes Adderall (amphetamine). She offered me some on occasion (before working out, sex, etc) and I took them w/o even thinking about my sobriety(!). Soon I was tempted and couldn’t resist sneaking a pill or two here and there from her medicine cabinet.

    The first time I confessed tearfully what I had done and apologized, offered to make amends. She was mad for a week, but then forgave me. The second and third time it happened (third time was yesterday) I wasn’t as forthcoming…it was almost as if the lure had sucked me in and I couldn’t even be honest with myself anymore.

    I was lying to her face about taking two tablets and she knew it. She told me she couldn’t be in a relationship with me, didn’t even want to be my friend, etc. My bawling and “i love yous” obviously made the situation more frantic.

    Anyhow, I’m reflecting on it and seeing how easily cross-addiction affected me, and how I need to be more vigilant about my future partners and the meds they are taking.

    I think it’s time for me to get back into the 12-step circles and start addressing these ‘character defects’ that are becoming far too obvious….chronic dishonesty, manipulation, stealing, etc. How could I ever do that to someone I loved so dearly????

    For the 12-steppers out there, when/how would making amends fit into this, if at all?

    UGH!

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