Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse Relationship hit a all time low

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • Author
  • #30991

    hi everyone.

    today was so beautiful here in e tn and i could not stand staying inside, so i took the trash to the dump, then went by my son’s grave and cleaned the marker and fixed the flowers, then i just drove around….wonderful day.

    then my husband calls and wants to know why it’s taking me so long to get home and i told him all that i was doing. i reminded him that–hey–i have zero money i can’t buy drugs and i guess what came out of his mouth is probably a all time low for 30 yrs of marriage.

    he implied that i might be selling my body for drugs. i am still just in shock. nothing against anyone who has, because i understand. but i can’t believe he thinks i would do that. i have been preparing myself for all the distrust he may have with me because he has every right not to trust me; however, in that area of our life there has never in all these years been a question about faithfulness.

    what a direct blow to my self respect. i feel like trash.

    i don’t know how where going to make it after a statement like that. i really don’t.

    he has not come home yet (he races on Sat night) and i can’t even image what kind of look he will give me…if he will talk to me…if i will talk to him.

    we were suppost to go to church tomorrow, but i don’t know now.

    basically he called me a *****.

    i no that i could be living in a gutter and selling my body for drugs….it could happen to me or any addict…..i just had not hit that kind of rock bottom.

    how quickly my day turned sour.

    i don’t know what to say. i was really trying to not use or drink and i feel like i’ve been kicked while i’m down.

    i don’t know….i feel like i just need to leave. i could not go talk to any one today about it because i don’t want any of my friends or family to think bad of him for saying that or thinking that. they all know me better than that. i’ve keep it inside and have been brewing all day.

    i don’t know if recovery will work. i knew he had very valid reasons to not believe a word i said, to not trust me with money, with anything — i just wasn’t prepared for that.


    I’m so sorry that he said that. That really was insensitive.
    You did the right think by coming here and talking about it.

    Tell him how that made you feel when he said that.
    Sit him down and talk to him.

    Don’t hold it in and let it bubble up inside
    because then that could pose a threat to your sobriety.

    You said you don’t think recovery will work.
    Yes, it will. It just takes time to rebuild
    trust and work through issues.
    A part of recovery is learning how to express feelings
    in a healthy way.
    And set boundaries in regards to how you’re being treated.

    No matter how badly trust has been damaged in the past,
    no one has any right to cause serious emotional pain to another
    person. No one deserves that.

    Talk to him and see how it goes.


    It was an astounding day weatherwise here in East TN. With everything happening in your life it must have been a joy to get out and drive around.

    How unfortunate that he said such a thing. This is about the last thing you need right now.


    Sending hugs your way {{{Movin On}}}

    I think Cheryl has great advice here

    Don’t hold it in and let it bubble up inside
    because then that could pose a threat to your sobriety.

    Just remember also, honey, that when we’vebeen married a long time (I can’t remember how long for you) sometimes we say some things that we know will wound the MOST. That’s why counselling is wonderful. It gives you the tools to “fight” constructively and not cruelly.

    Take a deep breath. This recovery stuff is hard, isn’t it? Good luck.

    P.S. One time when my husband and I were going through a very bad patch, we were sitting at the dining room table and (I had gained some weight) he looked over at me and said “Well, I can see what I have to look forward to in 20 years” Ouch! We made it through, though.

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.