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- March 22, 2016 at 11:50 pm#38865AnonymousInactive
My relationship isn’t doing so well tonight. I’ve been a lot more irritable since I stopped drinking and I try to curtail it, but am far from perfect. I’m snappy and sometimes I probably take my moods out on my boyfriend (who I live with) although I don’t mean to.
Things that didn’t bother me when I was a drunk bother me now and I get upset more. My emotions sometimes overwhelm me. I try to talk to the bf about these things, but I get the feeling it’s in one ear and out the other.
Tonight he tells me he feels like he has to walk on eggshells around me and that he doesn’t know what I need to do to improve my mood but I should do it or else… (he doesn’t know what “or else” is). He says that my mood is fine “most of the time” but I can see how it would be upsetting to go from a relationship where you never fought to one where you are living with a person that gets randomly irritable/bitchy. Apparently he likes me much better when I don’t give a **** about anything.
I have tried to explain to him that this is probably part of the withdrawal process and that I won’t be this way forever. I’ve tried to explain that sometimes I just need time alone when I’m feeling irritable and to give me time without taking it personally. He doesn’t get it and doesn’t seem to want to try to get it. I feel very alone in this all of the sudden.
He’s been supportive, but this moodiness is something he obviously can’t deal with. I can’t pretend to be a ray of sunshine all of the time when I’m not. I haven’t allowed myself to feel for almost 10 years and now, sometimes I’m overwhelmed with emotions (good and bad). It’s hard to deal with. It’s hard that he doesn’t/can’t/won’t understand.
I probably should be in therapy to help me with this emotional overload. It makes me angry to think of all of the things I have dealt with from him and when I’m moody for a month it’s the end of the world.
I need advice or some understanding. Should I try to pretend that life is just peachy so I don’t disturb his life? I don’t think I can do that. I’m not sure how to feel right now.
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