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- March 7, 2016 at 4:05 pm#38765AnonymousInactive
Hey all. It’s been a looong time since I’ve been back here. 12 Step National Meetings is where I got my start on the road to recovery. Some of you might remember me. I still see old “faces” being of service to other suffering addicts.
Thank you 12 Step National Meetings for planting the seed and getting this addict to my first NA meeting.
Feb. 24th I celebrated 18 months.
For many months (almost my entire first year) I was plagued with the desire to still use. That still raises its head now and again, but my sponsor and folks like you encourage me to “just hold on”. I was angry most of the time, depressed and sometimes suicidal. I was completely twisted. I had a bad case of the “what ifs”, “hadn’t done yet”, and just plain “yet”. Thank GOD for people in the program!
NA has given me a life I could never have imagined. The last few weeks I have been at peace. I’ve gained some real serenity. I thought that wasn’t even possible, but WOW! Through working the steps with a sponsor my HP guided me to that works for me, we have a great working relationship. Through my HPs guidance I have gotten into service work through the group and being able to give back to others. Through my HP I am guiding some girls through those same steps. What a gift.
Life is NOT easy, but learning how to deal with life has gotten simpler. There are some days I still fall very short of living the program, but I’m learning how with every situation how that shift in my thought process has made a 180 if I allow it.
I needed a change – and that change had to come from within.
I have found a God of my understanding. The hole I tried to fill with chemical deficiencies is being replaced with spiritual food. THAT is still an on-going process and one of the most difficult I’ve had to allow happen. Reliance on something greater than myself – greater than my disease.
I firmly believe that “God” works through people. He worked through you all for me and turned me into a part of a huge “we”. I couldn’t do it alone, but we can do it together.
For the newcomer or those that don’t think they need a program and can do this on their own (look at your situation) – get yourself to a meeting! Listen! Take suggestions!! Life is good beyond dope.
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