- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 2 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.
- May 8, 2017 at 4:35 am#42761AnonymousInactive
I’ve been doing well. I’ve been firm in my resolve to not drink, and have so far navigated a weeks long drinking opportunity (I am traveling) without caving. It’s been uncomfortable at times and I’ve been called out for not joining in more than once, but I’ve stuck it out (albeit meekly at first) and have even managed to have some pretty wild & fun times despite the ‘odd (wo)man out’ status my sobriety brings. I’ve been doing well. So well, in fact, that this evening I began to think about maybe getting a drink, one drink, tomorrow. It wouldn’t be necessity drink, I told myself, but a good behavior reward, just a token to commend my efforts and keep me from feeling deprived… Started concocting the plan – I could slip out in the early evening while the others were resting up at the hotel, find a hole in the wall bar and have one double scotch on the rocks alone. Slip back out, no explanations necessary, no harm done, and maybe a tiny little buzz to boot.
I have just about two weeks sober, and I’m in a bad town for a bender right now.*Apparently it takes just a couple weeks and a bit of success for me to think I’m healed, and apparently I think that that merits a drink. My mind is funny. Never have I had any interest or ability to keep it to just one. That tiny thought trickles in tho, tickles the right spot, and my mind reels. I’ve been thinking about this for hours now. Chances are a healed person wouldn’t be thinking of or plotting the next day’s drinking potential for hours on end.
Anyhow, just wanted to pop in here for a reality check – I am thousands of miles from home, surrounded by hearty drinkers, and maybe needing some grounding. I am going to take tomorrow very slowly. I feel pretty good about making it thru without doing the idiotic, but man is it a challenge to keep those priorities straight in my mind right now.*
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