- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 years, 1 month ago by Anonymous.
- December 6, 2016 at 9:08 am#40965AnonymousInactive
I really hate snow… it has triggered some crazy thinking this weekend and I thought I’d share.
Waking last Saturday to a good few inches coverage filled me with dread. When my drinking was at its worst in February 2009 (day and night vodka) I suddenly found myself ‘snowed in’ while visiting my family. My alcohol supply was immediately cut and at that time I’d go into withdrawal within hours. I remember vividly standing in the freezing cold eeking out the last of a rough bottle of vodka from the back of my car, vomiting on the ground and wishing I could somehow just stop.
And so to last weekend when this memory was suddenly recalled. I’m ashamed to say I jumped into the car (before even breakfast) and bought a big bottle of booze from the convenience store. Having returned home it was a huge relief just to have it sitting there. Now I could survive the snow! Of course the bottle was opened and a drink turned into a drunk.
It’s insane that having a bottle of poison next to me made me immediately feel so much more secure. Alcoholism truly is madness – in this case the exact opposite of reason. I wish I could say that my commitment to sobriety had been strengthened, but frankly I’m just becoming tired of the whole situation lately. I’ll try to find some gratitude from somewhere today. I’m grateful to be here for a start. Thanks guys.
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