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    There’s the normal person that goes to work every day.

    There’s the person that sometime has “a night” on a weeknight but still goes to work the next day. But recently that person has missed a couple of days of work. And sent emails to coworkers while intoxicated.

    This person appears to be normal/stable. But has a secret.

    The weekend comes. This person sometimes doesn’t see the sunlight between Friday and Sunday. Will always resume normal life on Monday (always with shaky hands)

    This HAS TO STOP.


    I’m out of my drink, cigarettes (which I quit for many years until drinking began), and food. I can call a taxi and get to a liquor store and Dominos pizza easily. That is if I actually wash up and get dressed. I’m not going to drive. I could but at least I have the common sense not to.

    I might have to go out. I went overboard last night. I just woke up. I need enough to wean myself off before Monday when I go back to work. I have this whole weekend schedule that always works but this time I messed it up.

    If I planned it better it would be ok.
    Do I see what I’m saying? THIS HAS TO STOP.

    My time as a successful functioning alcoholic is running out.

    I do need to get some cigarettes. That’s harder to quit than anything.

    Sorry for this message, this place is supposed to be about recovery. I’m trying to get out and meet new people but everyone wants to go to bars! I need to avoid that.

    I’m a mess and sorry for this message.

    I really want to die right now.

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