I’m 47, a drunk/xanax user for 30 years. I’ve always been a bit “off”. In retrospect, I’d consider myself a sociopath, one who used others, had no empathy, very selfish, hated/envied all, just a miserable person. Now sober for almost 6 months, the honeymoon of rehab and sobriety is wearing off, my impulses are coming back, I’m tense, can’t sleep, anxious, sweaty, nervous, these are physical, the mental are resentments and apathy and I’m wondering, is the old me just coming back.
I do AA, I read, I Kinda pray, but I’m certainly a “half measure” guy. I just got a sponsor, do I share this, is it all worth it. I felt so good for months, now I just don’t know.