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- April 2, 2015 at 2:43 am#36147AnonymousInactive
Hey all… Just checking in. Today is day 11 for me. I feel very good. The fog lifted around day 6. I am so grateful to be sober right now. I am so grateful that I will wake up tomorrow and not feel sick, hungover, headache, etc…
I can honestly say that I have made small improvements with the help of AA. When I went to my first meeting (this time around – been to many before and always started up again) after 3 days sober, all of the god talk, and being humble and grateful, god has you right where you should be, surrender to god’s will, etc…. made me want to scream. Today, after a few meetings I can somewhat see what they mean. I am not buying in “hook line and sinker” to the notion that god can be a “Magic Pill” and make my life perfect. But I do like what AA says about we strive for improvement over perfections. I really like that.
Anyway, today this old timer who frankly, comes off kind of gruff a lot of the time said something very interesting. He said that there is a big difference between being sober and being in recovery. For some reason, that made a lot of sense to me. Also, it hit me that the promises written in AA were WRITTEN FOR ME!!!! And all of us for that matter. Unlike so many things when we were drinking this is not bullshit… I really read the promises today and I want them!!!! If I just focus and work on recovery everyday, I can obtain them. I don’t have to live the way I have for 18 years… It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
I am a newcomer and if there are any newcomer’s reading this. Let me break recovery / AA down in beginner’s terms (because that’s what I am).
1. I can’t stop drinking on my own.
2. There maybe something out there that can take the obsession to drink completely away (I know, sounds crazy – but I’m going with it).
3. I will go ahead and surrender to that thing and let it help me
That’s it… to me, accepting those statements (which are essentially the first three steps) it allows me to begin recovery (steps 4 -12).
For me, I really needed to figure out the idea behind AA before I could accept it. I have been going to meetings on and off (mostly off) for two year. I always heard people talk about god, and steps, and gratitude and honestly thought the people were full of **** and were just saying those things because that is what the group wanted them to say… It hit me today that these people could really mean this, and this program quite possibly came into their lives and actually changed them.
I know this probably seem elementry to many, but I feel like I just “got the program” today.
I am meeting a guy tomorrow night who said he’d sponsor me. I will work through all of the steps as he suggests. Thanks to everyone for their support and this site as well. I will not drink tonight and feel good and the am!!! Thanks and good luck!
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