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    Anonymous

    I’ve been here before with months of sobriety at a time. Right now I’m working on day 6. I had 6 months from July to January last year, which felt very good. Good concentration, lost weight, happier. Since then the most I’ve strung together is a couple weeks at a time. I’ve been failing because I pick up the beer again trying to drink moderately (3-4 drinks). Which works for a couple days, maybe a week, then it’s back to drinking daily with at least 1-2 good binges of 8+. That 6 months of sobriety occurred during the start of a new job when I was scared to death that drinking would screw me over, but then I got more comfortable, less worried, and I started drinking again. Huge mistake.

    All the beer is not good for my weight, but the interesting thing is that even after a night of drinking only a couple beers, my appetite is voracious. It feels like the alcohol triggers something in my head and I absolutely cannot control myself around food. It’s not the typical “I’m hungover lets eat 3 sausage mcmuffins for breakfast” feeling. I don’t feel hungover at all, just very hungry.

    I also feel like I’m drinking to treat my depression.

    Had a small gathering of friends over to my place last night for video games, and a few of them brought beer, which is normal, because they don’t know I’m a drunk. I didn’t drink, and neither did a good portion of the folks who came over. But when my friends left, they didn’t take their extra beer. The temptation to drink was floating in and out of my head for about a half hour after they left. Then I poured the beer down the sink. Went to bed and slept peacefully all night.

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