I just can’t pull my head out of my ass. I’ve made such a fool out of myself again (again) and at my holiday party.

I get sober and then I binge. Binge binge. Black out binge. I have a whole lot of stress that I need to learn how to deal with. I drink to make my head better but its never ‘better’.

I’ve isolated all weekend. Saw a friend for lunch and then came home and I’ve stayed in bed for the weekend. Mostly bc I was super sick, hung over and ashamed. I can only imagine what people think about me. My behavior is outlandish.

I need to clean up my act.

My friends are gonna stop talking to me soon. I’m getting divorced and after the holiday party I’d be surprised if I had a job to go back to.

I’m a much better person sober and I hate how I’ve become. It is so hard to get and stay sober for me. Dumping alcohol into the gaping hole of my life isn’t helping and won’t help. I know this however I haven’t stopped.

Its nice to know you guys are here. Thanks for letting me share.