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    Hear is my thing I never drink when working or taking care of the kids but on my weekends when my wife gets home its time to get drunk. Unfortunately I have three days off one week four off the next so I go on a binge every night I am off. I can deal with not drinking all day but when the sun goes down that’s my time to head down to the liquor store. Then comes the usual, talking crap to the wife, acting silly in front of the kids watching the clock then making my wife drive me for another run before 2am, walking into the 24 hour drug store every one who works there knows me. Really anything can trigger it neighbors playing loud music, beer ad on TV, something just turns on in my head and tells me to drink. When I wake up I worry about what I said what I did the night before then get over my hangover by the evening and do it again. I can go months without drinking but I always find an excuse to go back. Tried AA it wasn’t for me I don’t believe in the higher power concept, no offense to anyone who does but it’s not for me. Of course as most here know there isn’t anyone who understands the urge friends, family they say just stop drinking. It’s just that split second decision, the feeling of happiness coming out of the liquor store stocked for the night. It’s weird I feel so much anxiety when I am just sting at home with my family I should be enjoying them yet all I think about is drinking. I don’t understand why it’s only certain times, why can’t every day be like a work day when I don’t even have the urge to drink? I feel like I am so close to quitting what am I missing?

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