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  • #42757

    I have been posting in the family & friends sections – but I have realized maybe this is the home for me as well. After all the denial left.

    I went into recovery for the first time when I was 20. I was a heavy closet drinker – a few years before that I had put down the habit of huffing.

    I was clean until my early 30’s when after the death of my daughter, I started drinking again. I cleaned up again that was about 3 years ago about the time I started my up and down roller coaster life with AB.

    Before he ever moved in -I made it clear no drugs or alcohol. Needless to say he was an oxy and Xanax user. For two years I kept myself clean.

    Then I began using. My EXCUSE cause it made it easier to deal with his using.

    2 months ago AB went thru the withdrawals from heavy everyday use of pills- and had moved to pot and weekend use of the oxys. This week he started using every day again.

    I realized, I guess a better word is accepted, that my sobriety had been compromised. I had to stop again.

    Although it has been a week since my own use, 5/7/2011 is the day I put myself first again.

    Thankfully I don’t have the withdrawals to go thru

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