Havent had a drink since June 1 09 was doing good, until my sweet Mom died a week ago. I have resisted the urge to drink away the pain, oh God such pain!! In the past I wouldve flown to the store ASAP and start a binge lasting till $ ran out but Ive alienated too many people—rest of family—and I just didnt want to start that cycle up again. I know Id wind up in the hosp for sure. Nothing to do but sit here with this unrelenting powerful hurt, aloneness, shock. It would be too easy the store is right up the street. If only to drown these feelings. Im being pulled apart here .