We all know we’re alcoholics. Really, we do. I remember the days when there was doubt about my problem, and I remember days when there never actually was a problem. But I don’t kid myself tonight when I know that I can never walk away from alcoholism. Tonight I am an alcoholic just as I was when I “doubted my problem”, and just as I was when I “never actually had a problem”. Do you see where this is going? It took its time but inevitably it evolved and though at times it wasn’t as bad as it is now, it was still there, and it is the reason I’m where I am today.

I know it, you know it. Who are we hiding from?

I have been able to hide my alcoholism from everyone except for those whom I confess it to. I have a few close friends who I can confide in knowing they will not repeat what I say. That said, nobody else knows.

It boggles my mind how my immediate family and friends have not clued into my problem in the least. The worst thing that ever came from my bad habit is that my mom bitched about having to stock up on beer so damned often because I drank more than anyone else in the house. No one has ever said to me that they think I am overdoing it or that they are concerned.

This in no way means they don’t care or that they are stupid. I have simply been able to pull the wool over their eyes with a learned and evolved ability to hide my drinking, lie about it, or pass it off as something lesser than what it truly is.

It still amazes me that nobody really knows. Is there anybody else among us who is guilty of The Big Lie?