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- July 28, 2016 at 11:05 pm#39881
This realization came today, although I’ve probably know for a while and suppressed those feelings of admittance until I’ve finally hit bottom. I’m not quite sure how much use this will be…posting this little message in a public forum…but I hope that today is the last hangover I ever have.
I’m 24 years old, and I’ve been drinking since freshman year of college. That was just on the weekends. By junior year, 4-5 times a week. My drink of choice is straight up shots of vodka. I graduated and I’ve been working at a financial firm for the past 2 years. For these past 2 years, I’ve been doing about 6 shots a night (but usually upwards of 10 shots), starting promptly at 9pm. I wake up on weekdays feeling hungover as hell, and dragging at work. On the weekend mornings, I wake up at 8am and start my day with a shot of vodka. EVERY SINGLE TIME, I tell myself I’ll just take a shot and then get on with a productive day.
Wrong. I usually end up doing about 20 shots throughout the day and end the night by standing over the toilet, forcing myself to vomit out the alcohol just to feel a little bit better. Then realizing that I’ve done nothing all day, I’ve eaten NOTHING all day, just took shots and sat around. Then spend the night just praying that I’ll fall alseep, trying to ignore the massive headache from food/water deprivation all day, and trying not to vomit while I lay in bed. The mornings after these nights are pure hell.
I’ve always told myself that I’m NOT an alcoholic despite all this drinking, every single night, for the past 2 years. Well, a good education and a good job doesn’t excuse anything. For what it’s worth.
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