Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse The ripple effect of driving under the influence

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  • #27663
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    It was 47 years ago that I lost my brother, but it is still fresh in my mind. The newspaper read as follows:

    Careening Car Kills 3 Boys; Sergeant Held


    The auto traveled along the side of the pavement on a turn then came back onto the road in a broadside skid just before hitting the youths.
    Two of the victims were struck from the back by the center of the hood, and the third by the right front fender. The impact left deep imprints on the auto hood. The force of the impact also left imprints of their clothing in the vehicle’s paint.
    Heels were torn from the shoes worn by one of the youths.
    The accused driver is a 17 year vet. He served in the European Operations from 1942 to 1956, in Germany from 1951 to 1956. He wears the combat infantry badge, the bronz star with a cluster. He has been charged with manslaughter and drunken driving.


    He was 36 years old and had a wife and two daughters, 11 years old and 7 years old. My brother was 14, his best friend was 14, and the other boy was 16. I was 12 years old, my dad was 30, and my mother was 37. I know now this was the real begining of the end of our family. My dad already drank but became a full blown alcoholic after that. My mom drank and added valium with the drinking. The family that lived on the base fell apart, the father blamed himself as did his wife, for not driving them to their destination. I sat in the trial and all I could think at the time was this man and his wife looked so sad, and he didn’t look like a monster at all. It wasn’t until years later, when I had become an addict, that I started thinking a lot about the driver of the car, and the impact it must have had on his life. My husband and I went to the library and looked everything up. I have tried over the years to locate him to tell him how bad I feel, and have felt for him. The courts could never have given him a sentence that would equal the pain that he
    must have felt every waking day of his life. I hope he found peace.

    #106370
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    A powerful, tragic reminder of yet more of the devastation and loss caused by this disease. My heart goes out to you, Sloane, and I honor your wish for peace for the driver of that car. Some of us addicts suffer publis acts of destruction, some of us suffer private ones… but we ALL suffer.

    #106368
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    ((( Sloane )))

    I am sorry that you went through this.. I am sorry you lost your brother, the number of years does not take the pain away. I know it lessens, but it doesn’t go away. :Val004:

    Phinny said everything so well, that there isn’t much that I can say.. I admire, and respect your wish for peace for the driver of the car as well.

    Thanks for the strong message.. It’s such a important one.
    I am sorry..
    Prayers my friend,
    Becky

    PS– I did not mean to thank myself, sorry about that..

    #106372
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Well you have to wonder don’t you? what happened to His life, his wife and daughters? I think about the times my dad was driving in a total blackout and the danger everyone was in. I drove a car so wacked out of my mind it was sheer luck I ever made it home. I mean, what are the odds it couldn’t have happened to any one of us? The man I am married to is the one who brought it up.He asked me ” what do you think happened to him?” and told me of the times he’d had a lot of close calls himself. Haven’t we all known people that by the grace of God and the universe, were not cast in this situation? Forgiving comes easier when you’ve walked in his shoes doesn’t it?

    #106369
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Yes, I do agree with you, although I haven’t walked in the same shoes,
    I do understand people, and I do have much empathy for addicts and
    alcoholics, that are in trouble, because of what I have been through in my
    life.

    We can hope and pray, that by the grace of God, he was saved, and
    his life was restored, and was ours.. :Val004:

    Prayers,
    Love,
    Becky

    #106373
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You’re right Becky, I always loved my dad drunk or sober way before I got into the substance abuse. I I just wanted to help him stop feeling so bad. Thanks for the reminder!

    ann

    #106371
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Yeah I sometimes wonder if I’d be guilty of a DUI and killing someone actually…I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself, I’d kill myself, I think.

    (not that I drink & drive at all, btw )

    Marte

    #106374
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    i remember going out for a drink with my uncle many years ago about my 18th birthday-i said i would drive there and he agreed to drive back-well many hours later i saw that he had been drinking and was falling over drunk-i was bad but not that bad-i drove home, managed to stall the car at a major junction and woke up the day after with my car parked in the front garden!-my aunt was not too pleased

    if i told you that i have not done that or worse since, i would be a liar

    yours in shame

    dave

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