- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 4 years ago by Anonymous.
- December 27, 2016 at 1:53 am#41180AnonymousInactive
I have been without my “recovery blanket” for the past 3 days. In other words not doing the stuff they say to do and this was 100% due to the holidays. It’s OK though, tonight I am going to a meeting at 9:30. I literally haven’t had a craving for over two weeks. But I have had a STRONG CRAVING, on and off, since about 1pm. It all started on Thursday. I went to dinner with family and we sat at a small table. There was wine, beer, rum, whiskey, all within a short arm’s reach. I was scarred to death to reach out and drink the wrong drink. I could smell all the different types of liquor smells and I had to literally tell my brain NOOOO! I made it through that fine.
Then on Friday, I went to my sisters for Christmas Eve. I was around family and there was beer all around and white russians. I could smell the liquor but made it through. Then, on Christmas morning I go to my Aunts. An alcoholic cousin of mine was sitting right next to me and I could smell whiskey all over his breath. Again, I said NOOOO! Inside my mind. We leave there and go to my brother in laws. Liquor everywhere. My sister in law put her arm around and had a glass a wine in her and whispered to me what she got my son and booze was ALL OVER HER BREATH. Had to say no again.
Then today, my other brother in law came over and had a 1/2 gallon of booze on my counter. Had 3, got buzzed, I could smell the booze from his glass. At this point, I could tell that my brain had smelled this stuff enough it was now not saying no.
I DID NOT DRINK! But I can tell you it set forth a craving that I have not had in a while. It’s like something got my “little monster” going and I could feel it, in my chest, in the back of my throat, my mind started to race, I could literally feel addreeneline being released. I can honestly say, if I don’t go to a meeting by tomorrow I think there is a HUGE chance I would drink.
I can handle the mental stuff OK, but to be subjected to this kind of exposure to a toxic substance is too much. I really needed to vent this stuff. I have a good family and I can assure you everyone has been supportive. I only have one alcoholic in my family, the rest only drink on special occassions…
Bottom line, my disease got tickled over the past three days and it wanted to come out and play. BADLY!!! I need to take my disease’s medicine and I’m afraid if I wait too long, it won’t work. I just took my first dose (this post) and will take my next in 45 minutes. I can’t believe the feelings that arose from me just by smelling the stuff. Talk about cunning, baffling, and powerful.
I can’t wait for this craving to pass. A part of me wants to keep typing until it does, but I might be kicked out of the forum LOL… Instead, I will go to a meeting, drink a ton of water, and just pray. I’ll be back on around 11pm. Hope all is well with everyone!!!!
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