- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by Anonymous.
- June 4, 2017 at 4:44 am#43058AnonymousInactive
ten days sober for me. I wasn’t counting until this morning, I think I am too rebellious to count, but when I did so on my fingers (like a small child) I was so damn proud of myself. This is a peronal best and the ONLY time I have been able to do it living all on my own.
I have to say it makes me so happy to think that I CAN make a choice and I am finally making it not to drink. I am obviously not happy all the time, certainly not happy that my husband and children are not living with me right now, but when I am alone I can live with myself which is something I thought I could never do. The funniest thing about this journey is that once I made my mind up it wasn’t that difficult. Sure I have thought, yes I can go and get a drink whenever I want and I can. But I haven’t because I have thought the whole scenario through. If I were to do it once I would have to do it the next day, and so on, and I don’t want to be back at the start again.
I do realise that tough times may be ahead for me but at the moment I am so happy, not extatically, but just at a low-lying comfort level.
In just a short time I have taken a situation of attempting (and failing) to survivie without drinking to living and I love it. I know I am lucky so far, without any physical cravings or withdrawl (which judging by the amount and frequency I drank I should have had).
The other amazing thing is, although my husband is cautious, he knows I have turned a corner. I can feel that he wants to be with me again. And after years of resenting him for battling against my drinking I really want to be with him, to love him, not just to posess him. Weird!
Out of the woods? By no means. But I feel the promise of what life has to offer and I love it. I really did not believe all those happy sober people out there but I am determined that I will be one too!
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