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    OK, all, I need help. I’m about to come up on my three month clean date; I attend many meetings, I have many sober friends from my home group I call;my best friend works for a detox center – it’s all good, right?

    Why then, at this 90 mark do I start craving (psychogically) opiates? It’s no different this time; except for changes in my thinking and my insight. But, I’ve gotta tell you, I’m jonesing big time. I try to take my mind off it by keeping busy, but those thoughts just creep right back in. I’m so scared after all the hard work I’ve done, I’ll blow it….again. I guess I’m just putting it out there, kind of like therapy, but i could sure use some help!



    Remember why you quit three months ago. You don’t want to go back, right?

    Find something to do. Call one of your sober friends.

    I understand what you’re going through. I’m currently sober (alcohol and benzos) for two weeks but still physically and emotionally weak from detoxing at home. It was the worst I’ve experienced but not as bad as what many people have been through. I’ve quit off and on several times over the last five years, but this time it’s different. It must be if I want to live.

    Please call a friend. Hugs to you!



    a Nurse from the detox centre I attended (many times!) told me to expect 3 months of emotional ups and downs. to the day on the 3 month anniversary I felt a change inside of me. Like I had conquered it or something. It was then that I began to have thoughts of “I can have just one hit right”, “I came this far, Im okay now” etc. The thoughts bugged me for days and days (it was at night that was the hardest) I contacted a friend from a meeting and told him all about these sudden cravings and urges. He said “get on your knees and give it all to God”. So I did. The change was remarkable!!!

    I just want you to know that your not alone with these urges. Everyday can be different. ( I saw a addict on Opera the other day 7 years clean and he had a ‘trigger” to use from being on Opera!). You have come so far. Never stop reminding yourself just how far you have come, and even though your getting cravings and urges again. You can over come them!. Call upon your higher power and give it all to Him.

    Keep up the good work and keep us posted!!

    much love



    Why it’s harder around those milestones, I don’t know. I experienced something like that right up till about a year.

    I’ve heard some who like to personify the addiction saying, “It’s letting you know it’s still there and wants you back.” I don’t know that I hold with that so much as my own inner talk of, “Well, see? You’ve proven you can do it. Now, why not reward yourself?”

    Hang in there, keep doing what you’re doing, and just don’t use. You’ll be okay.

    Peace & Love,


    i don’t know why it’s harder…..i’ve not made it that far.

    for what’s it’s worth…i believe you can do it. HEY…..what am i saying?????? You ARE doing it! Congradulations!!!


    Ya know it shows us just how freakin serious this disease is..It sreally scarey and it is nothing to play around with huh??
    I met with my sponsor today. We sat out in my front yard at a little kid sized picnic table and read through the doctors opinion in the AA book. It really talks alot about the disease…you guys should do yourselves a favor and READ that part..Doctors Opinon…
    There comes a time we have NO DEFENSE against the first drink or drug…
    And you have to have a different a little bigger than us or the disease///
    That praying on your knees thing…I have to do it..
    I mean I have absolutely nothing to loose and quite possibly the only solution may be spiritual…??? I just can’t seem to do this of my own accord..
    Keep talking about the cravings …CC ,,,,you are a inspiration and help to so many here!!! We realy need to hear what you have to say!!
    I know I ALWAYS rad ya baby!!!
    love north


    Hi CC. I was addicted to pain killers for about 2 1/2 years. The last year I was taking hand fulls of xanax bars on top of the 20-25 painkillers I was taking daily. I detoxed in August of 06 and relapsed on hydro in February of 07. I had clean time and felt OK but would obsess about getting high again. One day I ordered a remaining refill of 90 and ate it in about 4 days. Getting high again just reinforced what I already knew, that if I continued to live like that I would be dead very soon.

    If you remain sober for long enough, you will wake up one day and realize that cold hard truth that this disease WILL kill you if you let it. Would I like to get high today? Hell yes! Am I going to? Heck no, and that is the difference. We are all different and yet still the same. We all need to find whats going to be right for US to remain sober. What WE have to do for ourselves. Once I understood that for the first time, remaining sober became the most important thing to me. My life actually became much simpler and really put outside things into a very manageable prospective.

    Another thing I did to keep sober was remain challenged. I’m doing quite a few things right now as my career, that in a combination may seem very strange to some. I cant do the 9-5 anymore and for good reason. It never challenged me working a normal job for somebody else. I work twice as hard working for myself and it doesn’t even seem like work anymore. Good luck, I like the avitar.


    CC…To me its like knowing that a big party or holiday is coming!!!
    The mind is telling the body to get ready for the reward. (drugs or alcohol)
    The only defence for me is a 24 hour repreve from my higher power.
    Going to meetings & talking to people gets me out of myself.

    I had to change the way I reacted to trigers.
    cause if nothing changes–nothing changes.


    Hello CC,
    Hang in there buddy. You’re doing the right thing by talkiing about it. Always let it out. I freaked out at the 4 months mark. I had a continous bombardment of using thoughts for a whole month or more. Here’s what I did and it has worked so far:
    I called my sponsor and told him (every single time I got a thought)
    I prayed to God .
    I went to a meeting and mentioned it.
    I always tried to keep busy.
    The best thing CC is that we need never walk alone again. Always ask for help like you’re doing now.
    Hang in there and have a great day!


    Thanks for your inspirations guys. North, well, I can’t say anymore how I feel about you.

    ala, and a couple others said to pray to my god. That’s one of my sticking points. All the rest, I’m doing. But I can’t seem to find God, even as I know him. I wish I could get on my knees and ask him for help, but honestly, the concept is so foreign to me, it scares me. The only higher power I have in my life is making sure my children are safe and happy and my charity work with animals. Those are the things that make me feel whole? Is that a kind of higher power?

    See, I grew up with a Catholic mother and a Methodist father, so guess what they did for religion growing up? You guessed it. Neither. Nothing. God is a big empty space in my being. Herein lies my sticking point and what makes is hard for me. I went to some women’s step meetings and felt lost. Loved, but lost. And somehow it seems that for this whole thing to work, besides sheer strength of will, the topic of the higher power is always there. I guess I’m just scared and rambling and I DO know that talking is good; I usually isolate and hide what I”m feeling, so this helps.

    P.S. Alan, the Avatar is two of my pet charity rescues. The dog stayed, but the kittens go back to the shelter to get adopted. Talk about satisfaction.

    Thanks again, all.


    While my own beliefs are more traditional, I can tell you about one of America’s greatest thinkers–Ralph Waldo Emerson. He believed that God, man and nature are part of the same spirit. (He called it the Oversoul.)

    You say that you are connected to people (your children) and to nature (your animals), so if Emerson, who was a very smart and spiritual man, was right in his belief of one spirit which expresses itself through God, man, and nature, then it follows that if you feel a deep connection to your children and to your animals, then you are through them also connected to your higher power.


    ccgirl…Just wanted to say CONGRATS on your 3-months!!:You_Rock_ That is a huge accomplishment and one you should be very proud of!!!!

    Those nasty cravings {“stinkin thinkin”} can pop up on us anytime so we have to be ready with tools in hand to stiffle them!
    Keep posting, being honest, sharing your thoughts and staying busy! Those all worked {and still are working!} for me.



    I think it’s the milestone thing too .. I’m coming up (in 1 more month) on my 1 year
    tag and I’ve been told that people who approach this mark and others sometimes use because we as addicts think thst it’s better to relaps before we reach a bigger goal, like 3 month, 1 month, 1 year, and so on.

    For me and others its stinky thinkin.


    SOmetimes when I get the urge to use I just go somewhere- sometimes I walk my dog sometimes go out to the movies- just some little thing to get you over the hump. Think small — like the cravings are road bumps to get over rther than getting overwhelmed like you have to cross over this giant mountain with no road over it.


    Good advice lotustea!! Those words are so simple but sooo true!!
    I always get great satisfaction from walking my dog and she is so grateful just to walk along and sniff the ground! {LOL!}


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