Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Substance Abuse Threw away my paraphenalia!! :sadwavey:

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  • #30916
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey guys,
    Well I’ve been off the herbs for 2 days now, went to my 2nd meeting, and today I finally threw away all my glass. It was so difficult for me because I have sooo many memories associated with those pieces, plus they had massive amounts of resin within (kind bud resin too).

    Throwing away those pieces means I’ve reduced my chances of relapse, but there’s a small part of me that’s wondering if I made the right decision. What if I go back to smoking, and then regret throwing away my stuff…? I know it’s an unhealthy thought, but it’s a thought, nonetheless.

    If anyone else can relate to my story, whether it’s their favorite frosty mug, or beer cozy, please share your story. Was there a profound sense of lost when you did it? How did it impact your life, if it did at all?

    Dave

    #159828
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I never used the cheebah, but DAMN i am proud of you for chunking it. I tried it a few times, and it turns me into a giggling pile of goo. I couldnt stop laughing for anything so i didnt like the loss of control feeling. My problme was tramadol, hardest thing int he world to kick and the withdrawals were something from a horrible nightmare. From what iknow about herb, the withdrawals are more mental than physical. so you have that on your side. the physical ones are not pretty. anyway, you did an awesoem brave thing, and you CAN DO IT. Keep posting, lots of differnet folks on here with different addictions that can help and support!!!!:arms: :wiggle:

    #159824
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @tennlady9598 1476132 wrote:

    I never used the cheebah, but DAMN i am proud of you for chunking it. I tried it a few times, and it turns me into a giggling pile of goo. I couldnt stop laughing for anything so i didnt like the loss of control feeling. My problme was tramadol, hardest thing int he world to kick and the withdrawals were something from a horrible nightmare. From what iknow about herb, the withdrawals are more mental than physical. so you have that on your side. the physical ones are not pretty. anyway, you did an awesoem brave thing, and you CAN DO IT. Keep posting, lots of differnet folks on here with different addictions that can help and support!!!!:arms: :wiggle:

    Thanks Tenn for the support! I googled tramadol and it said there are extreme w/d symptoms! Yeah I have to agree the addiction to weed is mostly mental, though my body is changing since I abstained. (phlegm buildup, vivid dreams, bouts of fatigue)

    #159821
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Way To Go!!!! :You_Rock_ :c011: :cheer

    #159829
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Have you thought about seeing a doctor, and tellnig him of your brave steps, adn asking if there is anything that may help with your fatigue? they have lots of things to offer, maybe an antidepressant? or something similar? Either way, we are with you and pulling for you HARD!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

    #159825
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @tennlady9598 1476197 wrote:

    Have you thought about seeing a doctor, and tellnig him of your brave steps, adn asking if there is anything that may help with your fatigue? they have lots of things to offer, maybe an antidepressant? or something similar? Either way, we are with you and pulling for you HARD!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

    Hi thanks Tennlady! I already am on antidepressants, and they definitely work. But I’ll be sure to ask my new psychiatrist if there is something I can do to boost my energy, (besides coffee which I’m trying to wean myself off of). When I was smoking herb, I could stay up for days just getting high. I had to force myself to sleep every night. Most people pass out on the stuff, but it kept me awake and hungry for more.

    In any event, I think my fatigue is just my body’s reaction to finally being sober. I don’t disagree with my fatigue, I just indulge it by taking a mid-afternoon siesta. Next week the YMCA pool will be operating so I’ll be swimming instead of sleeping! Woot!

    #159830
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Swimming would be awesome for your health and energy. It is the best full body workout there is. I love the free feeling and i do flips in the water jsut like a big old kid. big cuz i am a 6’1 female. Kind of big as females go, or tall i should say. Maybe ask about Wellbutrin or Lexapro. REsearchi t first, but my doc says both are know to increase energy, maybe it would help. I wish so badly i could reach out and heal you. You know we addicts like the instant gratifcation thing, haha. But i feel terrible when i think of anyone going through WD’s. they suck, whether its mental or physical. Seriosly, i know i keep saying it, but keep posting, i will help in any way i can , and try to think of ways to make it easier on you if i can . Much love and prayers. Oh yea, do you do meetings? they can work wonders, even if just to talk about it in person with people who wont judge and totally relate, sometimes they can end up to be a great support system!!! :c016: :ValB011: (just being frinedly, not trying to love up on you, haha

    #159826
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @tennlady9598 1476205 wrote:

    Swimming would be awesome for your health and energy. It is the best full body workout there is. I love the free feeling and i do flips in the water jsut like a big old kid. big cuz i am a 6’1 female. Kind of big as females go, or tall i should say. Maybe ask about Wellbutrin or Lexapro. REsearchi t first, but my doc says both are know to increase energy, maybe it would help. I wish so badly i could reach out and heal you. You know we addicts like the instant gratifcation thing, haha. But i feel terrible when i think of anyone going through WD’s. they suck, whether its mental or physical. Seriosly, i know i keep saying it, but keep posting, i will help in any way i can , and try to think of ways to make it easier on you if i can . Much love and prayers. Oh yea, do you do meetings? they can work wonders, even if just to talk about it in person with people who wont judge and totally relate, sometimes they can end up to be a great support system!!! :c016: :ValB011: (just being frinedly, not trying to love up on you, haha

    Hehe thanks for all your support! I can tell you are a genuinely caring person. I went to my 2nd meeting tonite, and plan on going for at least 90 days. I shared my story with the group, and was welcomed by all. Even got a temporary sponsor.

    I read your story and want to return the wish-you-well in return. We addicts must stick together to overcome the elephant in the room that is addiction. Even if that means putting lemon juice and salt over ice cubes to make a crusty ol’ late night snack. ewwww!

    #159822
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello Succeed!! Nice to see you two making such a connection here!!
    Yeah tenn is a pretty awesome gal….

    I think it is a huge step for you to throw all that stuff out,,,
    I was once in a treatment program for a year here and one of the counselors had us go through all our possessions and had us throw away ANTYHING that was connected to our old unhealthy lives.Naturally we did not have nay paraphenalia..but I remember throwoing away a electic toothbrush that I had stolen whilw loaded,,any letters from the past,,sick realtionships..anything from using people…I had a purse that I used to keep my dope in that I threw into the huge pile in the middle of the room…alot of the girls there threw away clothes that were stolen bought by their ex pimps. We really cleaned house that day and I have to say it gave me a good feeling..great way to clean house. We called the salvation army and they came and we all helped load it up with our old lives..
    I think it is time for me to do that again!!
    I have to be honest here..
    this is why I posted on this thread..
    I am holding on to one rig (needle)…I always have kept it…I have to get rid of it..I want to be WILLING to do this recovery..The truth is sometimes I am NOT WILLING to do what I need to do sometimes…I WANT TO be willing to go to any lengths,,,I have so much old crap I need to let go of.
    I am afraind that if I let go of all theunhelathy things that have defined me for such a long time…that when the real me comes to light,,there won’t be anything there to hang onto……I live with alot of fear these days..fear that I am not worth the good things reacovery always brings……
    Thanx for letting me ramble on here you guys..this thread really helped me think about letting go of the things that are not working for me…
    Maybe I can throw that rig away now..
    love north

    #159823
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    after our last “slip” about 3 weeks ago, i’d kept the used pipes stashed under the sink in my bathroom……..why? that’s what i asked myself yesterday…if you do not intend to use again for any reason whatsoever, what’s the point? they tell me not to harbor ANY reservations about using……so when i went out to pick up the dog poop in the yard, i put the damn things in that bag and threw the whole mess away!!! seemed a very appropriate “grave”…..

    ridding our lives of all the people places and things that lead us down to the road to using again IS vital to our recovery. i commend your efforts!!!!

    #159831
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Bozo, pleas let know how the appt went. I wish i had thought to tell you this sooner, ask him nextime for a small dose of seroquel, you WILL sleep with that. also you can get Melatonin at the drug store over the counter. they gave it to everyone in rehab and man it works, get the 5mg kind. It is in the herb and vitamin section of Walgreens or CVS or whatever drugstore. I am really thiking of you, and wishing you all the best, you are loved in here, and thought of often. I am so glad you keep posting. keep drinking gatorade, and get that melatonin, i swear it works for sleep. Much much love, ps dont forget to tell me what the dR says…..

    #159819
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    i can’t smoke pot no more. i can take it or leave it but if i smoke it i just get paranoia.

    #159827
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi North,
    Sounds like you are experiencing the same conflict that I had. I kept telling myself that this time is for real, that I would not need my ‘beautiful’ glass pieces anymore… but the doubt in me is screaming “you’ve done this before, and have regretted it when you started smoking again”. Yeah, I have my doubts, but like religion, it’s a leap of faith for me. Smoking did define me, I won’t lie. Everywhere and everyone is a trigger of my past. But with all these confusing signals and cravings I get, the one clear thought is my sobriety. Instead of having that escape route (think paraphenalia) now I have to totally devote 100% of my emotions to whatever is at hand. Wow! Imagine that.

    Anvil, I’m really proud of you for laying to rest your pipes. In a way we made the decision in close proximity, which is pretty cool. You have a totally unique life, yet you made the decision to clear your life of negative reminders just like I did. Go us!

    Windy, that’s not unusual that you get paranoid from herbs. Even sometimes I would get paranoid, especially in loud, busy places. That’s why I was a computer pothead. I’d smoke, play videogames and surf the web. It was a pretty isolated experience towards the end. What began as a social game became a pathetic habit.

    #159820
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Throwing away your pipes and other things is important, at least it was for me. I quit the pot two and a half years ago.

    Even today I would not want to run across some old pipes or what not. It would tempt me to take a sniff, maybe go over to a ex-friend’s house and get just a little pot, you know for old times.

    Heck I have been able to stay clean for over two years now.

    I could handle it, just a little, well maybe a little more wouldn’t hurt, maybe just smoke a little on the week-ends, maybe after a tough day at work, maybe tell myself I can handle this stuff now.

    Nope.

    Not a chance.

    Don’t want to fall back into a addiction that caused me to WASTE thirty seven years of my life.

    My life today and every other day will be without the pot.

    That includes anything that might get me thinking, maybe….

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