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  • #42704

    I am just about 4 months clean and sober and am tired of my crazy thinking. I was hoping that it would eventually start to go away but the past few weeks it has gotten worse.

    Everyday I am thankful that I have no drugs in my house and have no access to them per say. I am not willing to go on the hunt for them and probably wouldn’t find the one I want anyway. It’s like I have the Good Angel on one shoulder and the Bad Devil on the other and they are just beating the **** out of each other and my thoughts are in the middle and having to listen to them go at it.

    At night I dream about using drugs in the weirdest of circumstances. Occassionally I dream about drinking too but no like the using drugs (IV).

    What really ticks me off is that my whole life has had to be rearranged because of my drug use and still I want to screw it up some more. Do these crazy thoughts ever get better? Weird thing is…I DON’T crave the drug I just have these random thoughts and dreams of using.

    Staying clean and sober with the angel and devil.

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