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- July 2, 2016 at 10:54 pm#39686AnonymousInactive
This post is for the alcoholics in recovery …..
I am almost three weeks out of a 3 year relationship. He was a full blown drinker from the age of 12 to the age of 32. After his second felony DWI he had a choice to give up booze or go to prison. He spent 10 years “sober”, (he had admitted being alcohol free in those years but not sober) between ages 32 and 42. I met him just months after his 42 birthday and at the time I met him he has been back to drinking for 3 or 4 months. I do not have a problem with alcohol and I didn’t realize he did either until 45 days or so into the relationship. It was then I heard some of his story, and he confessed that neither his friends or family knew he was back to drinking. I don’t know why I felt I already loved this man; possibly it was him telling me all the things I wanted to hear …. but I vowed to stick by him. For years I put up with lies, selfishness, broken promises, betrayal, you name it. Last October he was really bad with the drinking and I finally got him to accept he needed rehab. He completed a 28 day program. All the promises of a new future with him were shortlived when he stopped going to his AA meetings within 45 days. By February I discovered the betrayals again, the lies, and the realization that nothing had changed in him. I was working on HIS recovery while he did nothing. After another few months we had it out and we both parted. Basically he walked out because he did not like to hear what I had to say. I am positive he expects the same result … me running back. I am no way going to do it.
So, after a week or two of blaming all of my woes on everything BUT the truth, I realized that nothing would have made a difference for us until he worked a program and reached true sobriety. I have to save myself.
I would like input as to if any of you eventually found sobriety – true sobriety – and if it is even possible. I would like to hear someone tell me of what they realize now that they lost because of the disease.
I am never going to get closure from this man – but maybe hearing someone elses closure will help me.
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