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    Tomorrow is my Court Day for DUI. It has been adjourned for the last 9 months due to me being in rehab, then the police guy who charged me being on stress leave, so here we are nine months later and seven months sober, going to court tomorrow,, and my anxiety is going crazy, I still manage to get up go for a run, do my readings, gratitude list, pray, have faith, think positively, observe my thoughts and feelings having them come and go without hanging on to them and making them my reality. So much wish I did not have to go tomorrow. For so long I wanted this court day to be over and done with to move on and now that it is here I kind of wish it were not, Have all my references from rehab, and from my psychiatrist and from the Drug and Alcohol weekly group program. Will I survive tomorrow Yes I will, will I hear what I want to hear most likely not, strange the more I write about it the sicker I am starting to feel in my tummy…..I am just such a different person to who I was then……my life, my attitude everything has changed………I am no longer the person who is plagued with resentments and jealousy, negative thoughts hopelessness, worthlessness (sometimes I still feel that way but I can now catch it in the act), still feel fear sometimes…..fear of no control I guess….but I do not let it run my life anymore…..I am sorry just needed to get this out there I guess I am also looking for some kind words and reassuring words. :c021:

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