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    This is my first post and I’m a little nervous but I need to start trying to kick this awful habit. I decided to share my experience with addiction in hopes to finally be able to stop using tramadol. My first time ever taking it was when I was 15. My mom would give it to me because I’ve always had horrible menstrual cramps. By the time I was 16 I started stealing them from her. I’ve always had problems with anxiety and depression so they would help me with that. When I was 17 I realized I needed to stop. Around this time I found out I have a kidney problem and one of my kidneys doesn’t filter like it should. She then started hiding them from me but never would confront me about it. I remember lying on my boyfriend’s couch going through withdrawal. I felt like bugs were crawling on my skin and I was really weak. I promised myself I’d never let myself go through that again.
    Well here I am at 19 addicted again. I started about 3 months ago. Me and my boyfriend of 4 years were going through a rough patch. I had constant anxiety so I did the only thing I knew would make me feel better. I started stealing them from my mom again. At first it was just to get me through the first couple weeks then the day I tried to stop I laid in bed with body aches and nausea. I’m to the point where I hate myself. I’m depressed everyday and I just want to stop. I can’t go more than 24 hours or I get the bug feeling and I get extremely weak. I can’t go to a doctor because I don’t have insurance or trust me I would have already been there. Being an addict terrifies me. I’ve even tried heroin but somehow I’ve always kept myself away from it long enough to not get addicted. I’m at my wits end. I need help. If anyone has any advice that’d be awesome.

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