I don’t like this, it just really kills me. I am my own worst enemy with work. My boss warned me that if my name got out there throughout the country in my job I would be traveling. I don’t mind that they request me to go but here I sit again in the hotel feeling fragile. I can’t say no, it would derail all the good will and momentum I have built for myself. There usually is a 5 to 7 complimentary bar most places I go and there is one here. I don’t dare go down but I feel a prisoner. I have to get up early for a busy day, drive into a busy city and find parking. The last thing I need is to drink and go in stinking and hazy.