Search for Addiction Treatment Centers Near You Forums Alcohol Abuse Trying to Quit/Lessen Problem – Please Help =(

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    Anonymous
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    Hi, I’m 25. I’ve been drinking a lot since I was 18. At 18-20 I basically drank a Steel Reserve 40 everynight (equal to about 6 normal 5% beers). If I went out somewhere then a little more, but usually under 10. Then I found vodka at around 21-22. I would fill a pint glass with 1/2 vodka and 1/2 soda and have about 2-4 of them a night to go to sleep like a baby. (One of the main reasons I drank was to fall asleep with ease as I was an insomniac beforehand. In high school I could easily stay up until 5am and then be destroyed tired in the morning.) Then one day when I was 21, I was sitting in class and had a panic attack out of nowhere. I left class freaking out and then came back to my place and thought I was going to die. I never had a problem with feeling like I HAD to drink before. Only after that panic attack did I start to get withdrawal about 8-12 hours after drinking. It came out of nowhere. I used to drink my vodka at night and then be totally fine the next day. After that day I had a panic attack, I would wake up and feel like crap, go to class with anxiety through the ROOF all day long. Then I would have my vodka at night and be fine. Then that repeated for well over a year. I wouldn’t feel “normal” unless I had a drink. As I said before thought, this happened suddenly. I used to wake up and not feel like I needed a drink at ALL. Just after that panic attack day. I kept repeating this cycle through my first job and then I got let go because I took off too much due to miserable hangover in the morning or I wanted to stay out all night on the weekdays. So I was unemployed and then it got bad. I would kill at LEAST half a handle (1.75L) of vodka a day. It got so bad that I could barely eat dinner at my parents table because the anxiety was so miserable if I didn’t have a drink all day. So finally I went cold turkey and had the worst 3-4 days of my life. Sweats, barely any sleep, etc. Then I had my drinking to maybe 4-6 beers a night which was fine. I would wake up with no withdrawal, I was functional, eventually got a new job. So that continued for a few years. I got let go from my new job because of the economy. I still had my insurance this past August until September. I went right back to vodka in the afternoon. I’d drink from noon until about 4am and repeated this for about a week. Then the anxiety was so bad I’d wake up at 6am and have to slam 2 shots to go back to bed. Then I woke up at noon, after having 2 shots at 6am, had to drink more to get normal. By 6pm, I felt like death. Went to the doc. My heartrate was 120bpm, blood pressure was 200/120. The doc told me I could die from seizure/stroke, which didn’t help my heartrate or bloodpressure at all. Went to the ER and almost couldn’t walk because the anxiety was so bad. They gave me lorazepam when they finally saw me which made me feel better. Then I didn’t drink for about 5 days. Just took my lorazepam the first 3 days, next 2 days I was fine. I started to slowly build up the bad habit again. During September, I built up to 18 drinks a day from noon-4am. I tried going cold turkey. I was able to do it for 3 days, but the insomnia/sweating was unbearable. I thought I was losing my mind from no sleep by day 3-4. When I tried to go to sleep at night, it was terrible. It took me about 2 hours or so at 2-4am to go to sleep. When I finally did, I would wake up after 2 hours and the whole bed would be COVERED in cold sweat. So bad I couldn’t sleep and my girlfriend would be angry at me. So I picked up drinking a little bit. I made a rule for myself, no drinking anything before 8pm, and no more than 10. I’ve been drinking from about 11pm-4am and having 8 beers or so the past week. I wake up with very mild anxiety and it lasts about the whole day. So that’s my history. I need to either stop drinking or slow it down further.

    My questions are:
    1) If I quit, how can I not sweat like crazy? (I never wake up sweaty at all if I have those beers before bed.)
    2) I have no insurance now, but I could pay for an Rx. If I quit again, I’m going to need something for the anxiety. Where/how can I get lorazepam or an equivalent drug to just last me 4 or 5 days without paying a crazy amount of money to see a doctor? I wouldn’t mind seeing/talking to a free one, but I don’t know if they exist.

    Other than that, I just need this cycle to end. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I feel almost as if I’m locked into my own personal hell here.

    Thank you!

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