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  • #30868
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey guys. I hope everyone is having a great weekend so far. I just wanted to thank you for your thoughts and prayers for my sister last week. She seems to be doing much better for the moment. She has even begun an EMT program at a local technical college, so she’s really excited right now. I just got off the phone with her, and she sounded so much happier than I’ve heard her in a while. She is so fortunate to have friends here pulling for her, even if she doesn’t know it:)

    I do have a question, though… according to my mom, there is still reason to think that my sister has slipped up a time or two in the past few months, maybe once every three weeks or so. Ras is still saying she has made her 90 day mark… so my question is, have you known anyone else to not be completely honest with their clean time? I know it’s really none of my business if she does slip occasionally like that, but I was just wondering if this is a sign that maybe she’s not doing as well as she wants us to think?

    I don’t even know for a fact that she has used, and I’m not about to make any assumptions just because my mom says something is likely or not likely. She is basing it on my sister being very irritable and angry at the time, but it seems possible too that mom herself might be provoking this and not know it, because she is being very controlling and tightens up for any reason she sees fit, including things that look nothing short of random to the rest of us. So I really don’t know what to think, and I’m trying not to, because either way I would be setting myself up for more pain, but I did want to get your perspective on this.

    Thanks again for your support. You all have no idea how much you mean to me.

    #158743
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Uh yeah…I have not always been honest about it..because you just keep hoping beyond hope that you can pick yourself back up before you hit the skids and everyone knows again…it rarely works and for me it was SO stupid to try to act like I was still clean at meetings!! I mean this IS about ME..its not some contest ..with winner at the end ..its all about trying to live ONE MORE DAY clean and sober.
    I don’t know how you can tell..we can be pretty sneaky …sounds like she may be a little mad at herself..??
    I feel for the gal personally..most of us do not walk a yellow brick road to sobriety..skipping and quoting big book along the way..
    Its a fight for our lives…and it sounds to me like she will find her own way….just be there to support her. NO MATTER WHAT..if she is using occasionally..thats her buisness..just BE THERE…you don’t necessarily have to DO anything ….if you love her ..accept her unconditionally…then back off and do your own life..
    love north

    #158744
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey did that sound rude??
    I did not mean to “do your own life”..like that..you know what I mean right???

    #158746
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks North:)

    Actually, what you said made perfect sense. But I wasn’t asking so I could suffocate her and be justified in doing it… that would be stupid. I do love her unconditionally, and she would tell you herself I have been nothing but positive about her path of recovery. Even when I found out she was talking to her ex again, who was her biggest enabler, I said nothing negative about it, just listened to what she had to say. In short, I’m already making every attempt to do just what you have advised; to make sure she knows I am behind her 100% and then focus on me, and let her focus on her… I think I just needed confirmation that I am doing the right thing, if that makes sense.

    #158745
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey NB what you said here
    ~~ its all about trying to live ONE MORE DAY clean and sober. ~~
    That is exactly what it’s all about.

    I’m not sure that I’ve heard anyone put it like that. Well done NB!

    Hi Lady,
    Your sister being very irritable and angry at the time…..she’s not only allowed to but this should be expected of her….. of anyone.
    Can’t say that I’ve met anyone who wasn’t irritable and cranky/angry ect~ for the first few months or more.
    Personally, I thought I was an ******* in addiction then, all the emotions under the sun (except happy) while withdrawing.
    And now being clean I am perfect …..NOT!!!! lol

    #158747
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks, Emmer. I agree that it makes sense for her to be irritable at times… heck, I’m not recovering from heroin, and I can be irritable too lol. My mom is really the one who keeps accusing my sister of slipping. Basically, sis needs to get out of the house, for both of their sakes, but she can’t afford to at the moment.

    I’ll be sure to let mom know that others are telling me that irritability is normal at this stage of the game. I wish there was a way to convince her to let go and let HP handle the situation… but she still seems to think she knows all.

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