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  • #37465
    Anonymous
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    Sometimes I can’t believe how much I’ve lost to fear.

    For me the root of everything that wipes me out is fear. I know it’s talked about all the time, but it still amazes me how much it ruled my drinking life. And being human, still (but thankfully, to a much lesser extent) does.

    What’s amazing is that how in retrospect, all of the big steps or decisions or actions that I feared most turned out to not only be not that big of a deal, but the end result of taking the feared action was even better then I had not dared to hope. This was true for finally throwing in the towel, going to my first meeting, coming clean with my family, asking **** to be my sponsor, dealing with the wreckage — the list goes on.

    Something that works for me anytime I feel stuck, afraid to take an action or enter into a new situation, is to meditate on what would it look like if I was in that situation and had total trust that God (or, if you don’t roll with that, your Truest Self) had my back. That in that moment, I had no basis for fear. How would I act? What would it feel like? Then, what would it look like if in that moment my main concern wasn’t for myself, but the the other people in the situation? How is doing this thing I’m in fear of helping them?

    Through the lens of the program, it’s “what would it look like if I was living a perfect third step”, but those visualization techniques are universally empowering whether you do AA or not.

    If you’re reading this and are new to sobriety, or are still drinking, and just feel blocked or trapped and can’t get free or move forward, you can. Fear is crazy because it’s one of the most powerful yet bogus forces in our lives. But it’s always about the future, and the future is a fiction that will never be written. In the present moment, there doesn’t need to be any fear.

    This is my first new thread, so I hope it made sense. Glad to be here.

    Chris

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