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  • #42846

    I have been off of my anti-depressants for a while, and now I feel the pull of my addiction.

    This kind of thing has not hit me in awhile. I want to use, but I don’t even expect to enjoy it. It feels more like a duty waiting for me. Yesterday it hit me for the first time in a very long time.

    I even went to a meeting last night. It was stupid to go because I knew in the past it only intensified the depression and made the cravings more intense. But I felt I had to do something. And some people here convinced me that I had missed something in my years of attending meetings. But I could barely get through and it was all I could do to aim my car for home rather than a dealers.

    Fortunately, I was able to stave off the cravings after, but I have had them all day today. I thought I was over this. I have been spending time here and I cannot tell you if it is helping assuage the cravings or causing them. These recovery sites make me think about drug use as a possibility. That cannot be good. But I feel like I get a lot from them.

    Not sure what to do with this.

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